You don’t have to be a genius to know how to talk to people and come off like a genuinely nice, down-to-earth person. However, not everyone is gifted in this arena, and it can make interacting with them a less than pleasant experience. People who say these things seriously lack social skills, and they’re a lot more common than they should be.
1. “I don’t really care what anyone else thinks.”
People say this to try and seem laid-back and self-assured, but it ends up showing the exact opposite. People who back themselves enough not to mind if other people don’t approve of them don’t need to announce it to the world, so methinks thou doth protest too much if this comes out of your mouth. Plus, it’s just kinda rude — while you don’t have to live your life by anyone else’s opinions, to say that you literally don’t want to hear any perspectives other than your own is pretty lame.
2. “Why Are You Getting Upset?”
This can come off as dismissive and a little bit clueless, especially because people who lack social skills tend to say it when it’s pretty clear why someone is upset. So, someone who says this is either being sarcastic and goading the person who’s upset, or they’re literally that behind in the social skills department that they lack the ability to put themselves in someone else’s shoes and empathize. Neither is a good look.
3. “That’s a Stupid Idea.”
Directly dismissing someone’s ideas or opinions as “stupid” is not only rude but also shows a lack of social skills. First of all, who made you the intelligence police? Second of all, there are much more constructive ways to express when you disagree with someone else’s idea that don’t include belittling them or trying to make them feel dumb. If you haven’t figured that out yet, you might want to work on yourself in private before you start mixing with other human beings again.
4. “I’m Just Saying What Everyone is Thinking.”
This phrase is often a defense mechanism used to justify saying something controversial or offensive. Sure, it might be true, but you don’t get a gold medal for being the person willing to look like a jerk. Ever heard the phrase, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all?” It applies here! Some thoughts can and should live solely in your head because there’s literally no reason to voice them other than to hurt or belittle other people.
5. “That’s Just How I Am.”
This doesn’t just indicate a lack of social skills, it points to a stubborn, arrogant person who’s so set in their ways that they refuse to acknowledge or change their own shortcomings. Yes, you should embrace yourself flaws and all, but “that’s just how I am” is not an excuse for being a walking garbage can. It also doesn’t mean that no one else can criticize you or call you out for bad behavior. Just because you don’t want to take ownership of your bad behavior doesn’t mean everyone else has to put up with it.
6. “No Offense, But…”
Ah, the old classic which literally translates to “I’m totally about to be offensive, but let’s pretend I’m not.” People who lack social skills use this phrase a lot because they think it cancels out everything that comes after it. In reality, it just lets everyone in their presence know they’re about to be a terrible human being and say something really rude, discriminatory, or plain inappropriate (or all three). Yikes.
7. “I Hate Small Talk.”
Look, no one wants to stand around all day talking about the weather, but people who are good at small talk appreciate that it’s sometimes necessary to chat about meaningless stuff just to make conversation and form connections with other people. It’s not a waste of time, nor is it beneath you. Only people who lack social skills refuse to engage in small talk, and they likely end up seeming a lot less likable as a result.
8. “You’re Being Too Sensitive.”
Is it possible that someone is overreacting and making a mountain out of a molehill? Obviously. Will being condescending or invalidating their feelings magically snap them out of it and make them realize the error of their ways? Nope. Those who have social skills down pat know that accusing someone of being too sensitive never goes over well, and rightfully so. If the person is generally pretty even-keeled, they’ll probably come to that conclusion themselves in the end. For now, a bit more sensitivity and consideration is preferable.
9.”I Don’t Do Drama.”
What’s hilarious about this one is that the people who say it are the ones who are most likely to cause the drama they claim to avoid at all costs. They tend to be the types of people to engage in histrionics, drag minor issues out for way too long, and find issues where they don’t exist. If you really don’t do drama, simply don’t do it — announcing it isn’t doing anything but causing it.
10. “I’m Just a Realist.”
Sure, there are some people with their head in the clouds (or stuck in the sand) who can’t see the forest for the trees, so to speak. However, people who lack social skills tend to brag about their identity as realists as a way to be a total Debbie Downer and focus on the negative. There’s a thin line between realism and pessimism, but those who feel the need to proclaim how in touch with reality they are tend to veer towards the latter.
11. “You Wouldn’t Understand.”
Way to shut an opportunity for connection and understanding down before it even gets started! You may think that your experience is entirely unique and that you’re some special snowflake whose problems in life have never been experienced by anyone else in the history of humanity, but not only are you wrong, you’re kind of annoying. That’s not to say that everyone will understand you, but you need to give them a chance to try before making sweeping statements here.
13. “I’m Just Joking.”
Again, it’s not really the phrase that indicates a lack of social skills, it’s the fact that it usually comes out of the mouths of people who are definitely not joking but who aren’t jazzed about dealing with the consequences of their rudeness. They say whatever they want without caring who it upsets, then try to backtrack when they get called out for it and deflect, acting like it’s everyone else’s fault for not recognizing their stellar sense of humor. Please stop.
14. “This Is Boring.”
We’ve all been in situations that were so boring, we’d rather watch paint dry. However, most of us have the social skills not to actually say that out loud, especially if doing so would hurt someone else’s feelings. Sure, make a plan in your head to get out of there/do something else as soon as possible, but there’s literally no reason to announce this other than to simultaneously tell everyone that you’re an inconsiderate bozo who shouldn’t be invited to things anymore.
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