Why He Starts Caring When You Stop Giving A Damn

Whether he was tuning you out every time you tried to talk to him about something serious or constantly choosing to go out drinking with his bros instead of spending time with you, it was clear he didn’t give a damn about your relationship — and now you don’t give a damn either. Of course, now he suddenly wants to get his act together and start paying attention. So, what gives? Here’s why he starts caring again the minute you stop.

  1. He realizes he messed upHe’s taken advantage of the fact that you’ve put up with his stuff all this time, so he assumed you would continue to put up with it. The fact that you didn’t this time threw him for a loop, and now he has no choice but to come to terms with the fact that he’s messed up a lot for a long period of time and it might be impossible to rectify his BS by now.
  2. He got too comfortable. He probably cared about you, maybe he’s just one of those guys that does his own thing without consideration for anyone else and you allowed it for so long. Perhaps he was being a little inconsiderate jerk by not putting you first sometimes, but perhaps he really didn’t know he was being that much of a jerk. Too late now!
  3. He suddenly understands that he was being selfishHe constantly made your whining about spending more time together your issue, not his. Now that you’re being just as selfish by no longer giving a damn, he wants to be involved with things you do together. Sometimes, getting a taste of his own medicine will clear his self-absorbed cloud.
  4. He knows he’s about to lose a good thing. The only girl that put up with more of his BS than his mother is about to chuck the deuces on his ass! He doesn’t want to let that go. He’ll start talking about vacations, wanting to take you out to eat, buying you cards for no reason, washing the clothes (double points for folding them!), and washing dishes. He’ll start acting like he cares about being in a relationship when he notices you packing your bags.
  5. He’s come to terms with his behavior. You’re not gonna burp and bottle this son of a bitch anymore, and he realizes it. He knows he needs to grow up and grow up quickly because you’re short-fused on crap to give anymore.
  6. He wants to be in control. If he relishes having control over people, it’s not so much that he starts caring when you stop. It’s that he wants to regain the upper hand and is willing to manipulate you by pretending to be the distraught, lovelorn boyfriend to get back into your good graces so he can go back to his old behavior. Don’t fall for this!
  7. He doesn’t want another guy to have you. If you’ve moved on from him and have met a great guy, it makes perfect sense why the old dude is suddenly interested again. He doesn’t necessarily want you and isn’t interested in putting in the effort to be a good partner, but it kills him to see you with someone else. Sucks to be him!
  8. He’s just an ass. Seriously, it could be nothing more than him simply being a damn dunce. You left a trail of evidence of how sick and tired of his inattentiveness you were. Either he pretended that you were being overly dramatic or he truly didn’t catch on to the big ass “I’m Getting Fed Up With Your BS” signs. If the relationship is worth salvaging at this point, kindly remind him of the elongated breadcrumbs of evidence you left before you peace the hell out on him altogether.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia