Still Haven’t Found “The One”? Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Panic

It feels like everywhere you look, all you see are happy couples flaunting their love in your single AF face. Ugh. You can’t help but wonder why you can’t have that too — after all, you’re an amazing catch, so what’s the deal? While you may be tempted to panic if you haven’t found the right guy after what seems like thousands of bad dates and failed relationships, DON’T. He’s out there and you’ll find him. In the meantime, here’s why you should relax:

  1. Being single is actually really awesome. Really, it is — it’s just a matter of changing your perspective. What could possibly be better than eating a large stuffed-crust pizza in bed for breakfast, chilling in your favorite sweatpants with no make-up & a messy top-knot all weekend long, or swigging straight from a bottle of red wine on a Tuesday night ‘cos it’s been one of those days? Having no one there to judge you for it, that’s what. As corny as it sounds, the single world is your oyster — crack it open and enjoy.
  2. This is your time to be selfish. A boyfriend equals commitment, regardless of how early on in the relationship you are. In order for a relationship to thrive, you have to devote a lot of precious time and energy to it. Not having that responsibility means you’re free to do whatever the hell you want, whenever the hell you want with whoever the hell you want. Cherish this time – one day you’ll wake up and be married with a mortgage and 2.5 kids and wish you’d enjoyed your singlehood more.
  3. There are more than 7 billion people in the world — at least one of them is right for you. Who knows who you might bump into tomorrow, next week, or next month? There are so many awesome people walking this planet who also happen to be single, just like you! Remember the enormity of that number next time you worry that you’re never going to find someone.
  4. Not everyone meets the love of their life early on. I have friends who were lucky enough to meet their boyfriends when they were in their mid-teens and are still together to this day. That’s great, but it’s rare. Sometimes when you’re surrounded by relationships like that, it can feel quite disheartening, but you know what? Marrying your childhood sweetheart is not the rule, it’s the exception. If you were one of the lucky ones, that’s awesome, but don’t lose any sleep if you weren’t.
  5. A relationship will not complete you. You know this, but sometimes a reminder is helpful. The sooner you realize and remember that you’re the only one who can complete you, the better off you’ll be. You can’t look externally for internal peace and happiness – that has to come from within you. Ensuring you’re whole before you enter a relationship is going to give it way more of a chance of succeeding — and you want a love that will last, right?
  6. There’s a different plan for every single one of us. Some of us have an innate desire to devote ourselves to raising a family. Some of us are meant to make scientific breakthroughs and cure rare diseases. Others are meant to create beautiful works of art. Not everyone is meant to fall in love before they reach 30, and you know what? That’s more than okay. Maybe instead of finding love, right now you’re meant to concentrate on writing that novel you’ve always talked about writing, finally start that business, or quit your job and move across the world. Don’t put your life on hold for anything or anyone. It’s happening right now.
  7. Patience really is a virtue. Waiting for love doesn’t have to be a bad thing – let’s look at the positives. It teaches you patience. It makes you stand independently on your own two feet without the support of somebody else. It teaches you the importance of not settling and having high standards for yourself, always. Most of all, it makes you all the more grateful when you finally find what you’ve been searching for.
  8. When you find him, you’ll be ready. Each year you get older, you also (hopefully) get a little bit wiser. You learn a lot about yourself and about life. Basically, you grow the hell up – for most people this occurs around the stage of your mid to late 20s (unless you’re one of those super-ninja women who has pretty much had her life figured out since she was born – I envy you!!) A lot of us meet great potential partners when we’re in our teens or at college, at a time when ultimately we’re just not ready. Timing, as they say, is a bitch. The older you get, the more likely you’ll be ready to embark on a truly rewarding adult relationship.
  9. You’re still young. You’ve got a beautiful life laid out ahead of you, and so many years left to fall in love. Don’t rush it. All good things take time. Even if you don’t feel it, you’re still really young, and there are far better things to worry about than guys, right?
Shani is a full time writer and GLOW-GETTER currently based wherever she can find a bit of peace and harmony.. Her work has found itself a home on many platforms including The Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, Unwritten, Style Honey, CT Magazine, and All Women Stalk. She's also the author of several books, which can be purchased on Amazon.

Shani is the founder of the #GLOWGETTERTRIBE - check it out and join on her website.

You can also follow her on Instagram @shanijaywriter.