When you first meet a guy, he might take you on dates and shower you with affection. But as time goes on, you might notice that those real dates become less frequent and are substituted with midnight requests to come over and “hang out.” If you’re looking for something more special than a booty call, this is why you shouldn’t give him the time of day or night:
He’s showing you he’s not into making a real effort. A guy who’s truly into you will make plans with you like a gentleman, and that doesn’t include trying to get into your bed without making proper time for you like he should. Once you set the standard of letting him into your life easily, he’s rarely going to step up any further.
If he wants boyfriend level perks, he needs to earn them. If he’s not your boyfriend, he doesn’t get to be spoiled like he’s your boyfriend. Tell him he’s mistaken his benefits for the boyfriend-level package, and if he wants to upgrade, he needs to step it up and treat you the way you deserve.
His excuses shouldn’t be enough to fool you. A lot of guys that behave this way have it down to an art. They’ll send you a message saying, “You up?” and lace their messages with some emojis and an extra side of charm to persuade you to happily agree. They might also convince you that they’re too drunk to drive home and need you to give them a ride. Before you take pity on this type of guy, remember that you’re not his keeper and this kind of laziness early on is a big red flag.
Letting him come over kills the potential for real romance. You want a guy who will make you feel special, and when you let him come over with little to no warning at the convenience of a quick text, the real dates will start to dwindle. When a guy begins this type of behavior, it’s a test to see how much he can get away with. Stop him in his tracks right away; if he’s a player, he’ll give up and make his way out of your life. If he actually has some sense of decency, he’ll see you’re not going to put up with his crap and (hopefully) improve.
You deserve a guy who makes time for you. Guys who are looking for something real plan things with you in advance. They know your time (and sleep) is valuable, and they want to spend time getting to know you the right way. Don’t think for a minute that this late night hookup crap is as good as modern dating is going to get, because it’s simply not true. There are good guys out there who will make genuine efforts to make you feel cared about.
A guy who respects you won’t even dare to suggest this BS. There are two types of guys that exist in this dating culture. One of them is a gentleman who is going to treat you fairly and the other one is a guy who calls you late at night and stops taking you on real dates. Hold out for the good guy. He’s worth waiting for.
It’s not a date — he’s just plain lazy. As much as you might think this type of slack-ass behavior shows his eagerness to spend time with you, it’s not entirely the case. You’re both adults without curfews or parents looming over your heads, so there’s no need for him to behave like he’s sneaking through your bedroom window after your parents go to sleep. He can plan things like a grown-up should instead of leaving you as his late-night option.
If you don’t want casual, you shouldn’t settle for casual. The beginning of dating a guy can be pretty tricky because when you’re excited, part of you wants to jump all-. You might convince yourself that he has the best of intentions, but try to see things realistically. As soon as he downgrades from taking you to dinner and a movie to only calling you late at night, that’s when your player radar needs to be activated.
You’re capable of finding a guy who will treat you as a priority. Believe it or not, great guys think the late night phone calls are rude and disrespectful, so you definitely don’t need to be settling for any of this crap. You deserve to be a guy’s priority; you’re more than just an option for when he’s horny. Delete that jerk’s number and move on.
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