Since my husband and I have separated and I think divorce is probably inevitable, I’m forced to realize that my new single status is going to put me through the wringer in regards to the comments that others will make. While it won’t be hard enough to deal with trying to explain why my husband and I have parted ways, in combination with that will be those obnoxious things that people in relationships feel it sooo necessary to say to single people. I’ve been there, I’ve heard it all before, and why they just can’t shut up is beyond me, but I guess everyone has to add their two cents to everything.
If you’re single, you know the crap I’m talking about. Here are 11 annoying things people in relationships just loooove to say to single people.
- “So, are you seeing anyone right now?” It’s not like they genuinely care, but if they’re going to talk about their relationship for 90 percent of the conversation, they might as well a least acknowledge your relationship status — or lack there of.
- “I could probably set you up with [insert name of friend, cousin, colleague, etc].” Ugh. Why do people always want to set you up? You’re not looking to be set up, but yet everyone and their damn mother knows some “great” guy for you.
- “Don’t worry. You’ll meet someone.” I’m so happy you have such faith in my ability to land to man. Also, thanks for sharing.
- “There’s someone for everyone!” Thank you? Because throwing clichés at me is somehow going to make me feel like what exactly? Hopeful? Less alone? What?!
- “It’s always when you’re not looking that you meet someone.” Because the cliché “there’s someone for everyone!” isn’t enough, you have to get this doozy of a comment, too. And, nine times out of 10, they’re said back-to-back.
- “I never had any success on [insert dating app]. What are you using?” Why is it that whenever anyone says that, it just happens to be the exact dating app you’ve been primarily using to find your dream man? At least it makes the person feel like an ass, as they backpedal on their statement.
- “I would have invited you, but it was a couples only thing.” And, as a single person, I have some sort of weird plague that you, as someone in a relationship, don’t want to catch? Is that it? I’m contagious? Good to know. I’ll pick up some antibiotics later.
- “I don’t want you to feel like a third wheel.” Well, as long as you and your partner can quit making-out obsessively and pawing at each other like monkeys in heat, then I won’t. Instead, I’ll feel like a person hanging out with her friends. Unless you want me to feel like a third wheel, then I guess I can. Whatever makes you feel better, buddy.
- “When was the last time you were in a relationship anyway?” Listen, I know you’re just making conversation, so you can stop now. Seriously; just shut up. Whether it was a month ago or three years ago, it really doesn’t matter all that much.
- “At least you don’t have to put up with [insert some stupid thing their boyfriend does].” If this is your way of trying to make me feel better, then you have failed. If anything, you’ve just reiterated your relationship status and thrown in my face just how happy you are, because we all know you’d rather be in your relationship and deal with whatever you’ve just mentioned, than be a sad, lonely single like me. Yes, I know that’s how you look at me. Douchebag.
- “I miss being single.” Oh, shut the hell up. You do not. Very few women can say, “I miss being single,” and mean it. I’m glad I was one of those women, but I still wouldn’t have dared to say that to a single friend because it comes off condescending and almost mean.
Takeaway? Get some tact before you talk to and treat your single friends like lepers. Geez.