Uh oh — it’s happening. Your face is getting hot, you feel that pang in your chest, and you feel your eyes start to burn. You’re trying really hard to control it, but you know the waterworks are on their way. You know what I’m talking about because you’re the girl who cries… all the time. You don’t mean to, you don’t want to, but it keeps happening. You’re convinced that every single emotion of yours is directly connected to your tear ducts. And because of it, you’ve had to deal with things that the ‘tougher’ girls don’t quite understand.
You’re an ugly crier, and it’s embarrassing. You’re always insanely jealous of women in movies who cry so gracefully. You know, the ones who sob softly and look beautiful. The ones whose makeup stays perfect, the ones who have gentle tears rolling down their soft cheeks, and the ones who cry silently. But that’s not you. You’re more of a heaving sobs, swollen eyes, makeup running down your cheek, snot coming out of your nose, gasping for air kind of crier.
Mascara is out of the question. Even waterproof makeup isn’t going to cut it for you. You always have to carry extra in your purse to re-apply, but most of the time, you just skip it altogether because you know it’s not staying on for very long. You never know when you may end up crying so you’d rather not take the chance of having black smears running down your face.
Nobody takes you seriously. It’s happened more than once. You go into your boss’ office, ready to have a mature, professional conversation about an issue you’ve been having at work. But the second you open your mouth, you start crying. No one’s taking you seriously in the workplace when you can’t even get through an entire conversation without being overly emotional. Or what about that time you really wanted to discuss something important with your boyfriend like an adult. But the second you found the right words, you choked on them through tears. There’s something about tears that breaks down all your credibility and makes you perceived as weak rather than rational. Some may even go as far as calling you crazy. If only you could hold back the tears.
You’ve ruined the sleeves of all your favorite shirts. You’d think by now you’ve learned to keep extra tissues on hand, but that’s not always the case. You’ve often had multiple scenarios where you’re bawling your eyes out and tissues are not in reach. What’s the next best thing? The sleeve of your favorite shirt, of course. It’s not uncommon to see mascara-stained sleeves in your closet. You’ve also likely walked around with snot on your sleeve for an entire day. Gross!
You lose every argument. Whether it’s because no one is taking you seriously or because you can’t properly articulate your points when you’re crying, you’re never winning in a heated discussion. It always sounds great in your head, but the second it comes out of your mouth coupled with tears, you may as well have said nothing.
Your eyes are perma-swollen. And the red face sticks around for a while, too. Even when you’re done crying like the ugliest person on the face of the planet, you can count on looking like you’ve been hit by a truck for the rest of the day. People are going to be asking you what’s wrong, even once you’ve forgotten what you were crying about in the first place.
You cry at the wrong situations, and it’s awkward. You can’t help it. Sometimes your tears come out of nowhere and you don’t even understand why you’re crying. But you’ve been known to cry at times when you probably shouldn’t. Be it in a formal business meeting, at a comedy show or when someone else is talking about their problems. You’ve cried when you’re jealous, cried when someone was trying to do something nice for you and cried when you’re supposed to be overjoyed. Unfortunately, there’s no telling what’s going to make you cry. And there’s no justifying it to anyone, either.
No one can understand what you’re saying. Ever tried to talk in between heaving sobs? It ain’t pretty. You’re always choking on your words and when they do come out, they’re mostly inaudible.
Crying is your default reaction. It doesn’t matter what you’re feeling, your body is going to default to crying. Don’t know how to act? You cry. Not sure what you’re feeling? You cry. Happy? Sad? Mad? Frustrated? Excited? Nervous? Doesn’t matter. You’re going to cry.
Nobody cares anymore. Anyone who knows you well knows that you cry often. After a while, everyone stops giving a damn when you’re in tears. No one bothers to ask if you’re OK, because they know this is a frequent occurrence. No one feels bad anymore because they know that even something very little could have triggered the tears. Just like in the girl who cried wolf, no one is going to come running every time you shed a tear.
You have to skip out on sad movies. You often have to opt out of the girls nights that involve going to see chick flicks because you know you’re going to sob through the entire movie. You’re always sure to Google a movie before a date just to make sure there’s no chance of him seeing you cry. But let’s be honest — you can never fully be prepared. Sometimes even the previews will make you cry.
You awkwardly cry in public. There’s nothing like breaking down on public transport because you heard a sad commercial on the radio. Or while walking down the streets because a song that reminds you of someone started playing on your iPod. You always have strangers asking if you’re okay. You get the little old ladies coming to console you or the creepy men trying to rub your back. It’s embarrassing, it’s awkward, and its attention that’s often unwanted.
Everyone always thinks you’re sad. But crying also sometimes means you’re happy. Or frustrated. Or excited. Why does everyone automatically think you’re upset? You can be the happiest girl on the planet, but when you cry often, no one is going to see you that way.