Around 55% of communication is nonverbal, so if you don’t pay attention to it, you’ll be missing around half of what someone’s trying to tell you. You might be listening to the words that come out of someone’s mouth, but it’s the things they’re not saying that give you the full picture. Here are 16 subtle body language clues that reveal someone’s true feelings.
1. Closed body posture
If someone crosses their arms and legs when you’re talking to them, it’s a dead giveaway they’re not into the conversation. They’re basically putting up a “keep out” sign with their body language. It could be the topic that’s making them uncomfortable, or they just don’t feel like chatting. Either way, it’s a clear signal they want to be left alone. When you see this, your best bet is to switch gears or give them some breathing room. No point in trying to force a conversation they’re not up for.
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2. Four-second eye contact
While no one wants to be stared at, it’s also a bit odd if someone refuses to actually look at you. Roughly four to five seconds of eye contact is considered a positive sign of engagement. It means the person wants you to know that they’re listening to what you have to say and are interested in the topic (or in you!).
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3. Mirroring
When someone starts copying your body language — sitting the same way, leaning in when you do — it might feel a bit strange at first, but it’s actually a good sign. They’re trying to connect with you and build rapport. It’s like they’re saying, “Hey, we’re on the same wavelength.” You’ll see this a lot in dating situations when someone is trying to create a sense of trust and familiarity. So, if your date starts mirroring your moves, take it as a compliment. They’re showing interest and want to bond with you.
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4. Fidgeting
Fidgeting, such as constantly touching their face, is a clear sign of nerves. People often can’t help but engage in these self-soothing behaviors when they’re feeling stressed or anxious. It’s their body’s way of trying to calm down and cope with discomfort. If you notice your conversation partner getting fidgety, it’s a good indication they’re feeling the pressure. Try to put them at ease, or if the timing isn’t right, consider giving them a break and coming back to the conversation when they’re more relaxed. It can also be a sign that someone isn’t really listening.
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5. Placing objects in front of themselves
During conversation, if someone places objects between you, this could be a sign that they want more personal space. They’re literally putting barriers up between you because they feel uncomfortable.
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6. Microexpressions
Microexpressions are those lightning-fast facial expressions that flash across someone’s face in a split second. Blink and you’ll miss them, but if you’re paying close attention, you can catch a glimpse of what someone’s really feeling. These fleeting expressions, like a quick smirk or an eye roll, reveal a person’s true emotions, even if they’re trying to hide them. Spotting microexpressions takes practice, but once you learn to recognize them, you’ll have a valuable insight into someone’s unfiltered reactions and thoughts.
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7. Rapid breathing
Whenever someone is breathing faster than normal, this is usually a sign that they’re experiencing stress or anxiety. They might even be feeling cornered in the conversation, which is making their heart rate and breathing faster. Try to put them at ease as much as possible.
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8. Nodding
Nodding during conversation is usually a good thing. If someone you’re talking to nods when you’re telling them a story, it makes you feel like they’re actively listening and engaging with you. However, if they’re nodding too much and at inappropriate times, they could be trying to convince you that they’re engaged when they’re really not listening at all.
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9. Open palms
Pay attention to people’s hands when you’re talking to them. Open palms facing upward is a nonverbal sign of openness and honesty. It’s like they’re saying, “I have nothing to hide, and I’m being straight with you.” On the flip side, palms facing downward can be a red flag. It often indicates aggression or a desire to dominate the conversation. So, if someone’s got their palms down, they might be trying to assert their authority or control the situation. Keep an eye on those hands — they can tell you a lot about a person’s intentions.
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10. Leaning in
Leaning in is always a positive body language because it indicates that the person wants to be closer to you, or they’re mirroring you as you lean towards them. This is especially positive when you’re on a date, as it signals mutual attraction.
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11. Rapid blinking
Don’t jump to conclusions if someone’s blinking like crazy while you’re talking to them. It doesn’t automatically mean they’re lying through their teeth. Rapid blinking can be a sign of anxiety or nerves, especially if the conversation is making them uncomfortable. It could also mean they’re deep in thought, trying to process what you’re saying and formulate a response. So, before you accuse someone of being a liar based on their blink rate, consider the context and look for other cues to get a better read on the situation.
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12. Crossing legs
Sitting with their legs crossed can be a sign of negative body language, as though they’re closing themselves off. However, it could also mean that they’re relaxed. Here’s how to tell the difference: if you’re standing with crossed legs and your weight is on one leg, this is a sign of relaxation. If you’re in a “figure-4” seated crossed-legs position, this is a sign of being defensive or uninterested.
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13. Laughing too much
Laughter is great for bonding, but if your conversation partner is constantly cracking up, it might not be all fun and games. Excessive laughter can be a sign of nervousness, especially if the topic isn’t particularly funny or if they’re on a high-stakes first date. They might be feeling uneasy about the subject or just trying to break the tension. So, if you’re getting plenty of giggles that don’t quite fit the mood, it’s worth checking in to see if they’re truly comfortable or just putting on a brave face.
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14. Hand on hip
When someone’s got their hand on their hip during a conversation, it’s a power pose. They feel self-assured and ready to take on the world. It’s a way of claiming their space and projecting confidence. Instead of shrinking back or crossing their arms defensively, they’re opening up and asserting themselves. So, if the person you’re talking to strikes this stance, chances are they’re feeling pretty good about themselves and the conversation. They’re not afraid to be bold and make their presence known.
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15. Head tilting
When someone tilts their head while you’re talking, it’s a good sign they’re fully engaged and listening intently. It shows they’re interested in what you have to say and are trying to understand your perspective. Head tilting is also a way of expressing empathy — it’s like they’re trying to see things from your angle.
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16. Dilated pupils
Take a closer look at your date’s eyes during conversation. If you notice their pupils are dilating, this usually indicates that they’re interested in you romantically. Word to the wise: just make sure it’s not bright light that’s causing their pupils to get bigger, as that’s a total bummer.
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