As an only child, I’m pretty close with my parents — they’re more like friends than authority figures at this point. One subject I always trust their advice on? That would be all things romance and dating. I always listen to my mom and dad when it comes to my love life because they truly know what’s best.
- Their love story is epic. My parents met in a college cafeteria when my mom was 21 and my dad was 19. They moved to New York so he could go to art school and “lived on love” as they say (aka they were poor AF). They moved around a few more times before settling in Toronto and built a creative and successful life. It’s been decades and decades and they are still best friends. Why wouldn’t I listen to them? They clearly know what’s up.
- I want them to be proud of me and who I choose. If I introduce my mom and dad to the guy that I’ve decided to call my boyfriend, I don’t want them to think I’ve just made the worst mistake ever. Sure, most kids’ want their parents approval on most aspects of their lives, but when it comes to my love life, I really want my parents to be proud of me. I want them to be on board. That’s just as important to me as finding the right guy.
- I actually can talk to them about dating. I don’t tell my parents every little detail of my dating life — that would be creepy and weird — but I can talk to them in a general sense about what’s going on. They want to know and more than that, they actually listen and are super supportive. They don’t pressure me to find a husband or freak out that I’m still single — they get that dating is tough and that I’m doing the best that I can. Since we can actually have a legit conversation on the topic, I know that I can listen to them since they truly get it.
- I got my BS detector from them. Since my parents have made their living as artists who forged their own path, they’re pretty awesome — and pretty great at knowing when someone is totally lying. They’ve dealt with all kinds of people and have tons of stories about dealing with situations that were all wrong. I can apply that to my own dating life — and I definitely have. As my mom always says, “When something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.”
- They know me better than anyone else. If my mom and dad know that I’m unhappy, they can usually figure out why. They seriously have a sixth sense or something. The fact that they know me super well means that I’m always game to listen to what they have to say about the weird dating situation that I’m currently dealing with. I never worry about them giving me crappy advice because they wouldn’t even be capable of it.
- My dad can be a typical (and loveable) dad who doesn’t trust guys. It’s become almost a cliche at this point that a dad wouldn’t think that a guy knows how to treat his daughter… and yet sometimes, my dad totally fits that role. To be honest, I kind of love it. If it wasn’t for having his voice in my head all the time, I would probably forgive a lot more jerks and date more guys who made me miserable.
- They always say, “You never know.” When I’m wondering if someone is worth a second date or if I should even go on a first one, my parents are the first ones to say I have to go because “you never know.” Some single women hate hearing this but I don’t mind. It’s actually pretty much close to gospel in my dating life. Any bright moments or connections that I’ve experienced? All because I thought, “You never know.” Pretty powerful advice (at least for me).
- They have the right kind of experience. It’s not like my mom and dad broke up a billion times or have a terrible marriage that involves tons of screaming fights and resentment. They get along great. They do everything together and are truly each other’s partners. In other words, they have the right kind of experience, and I’m a willing student.
- They want me to be cautious yet hopeful. My parents would love nothing more than for me to find a guy that I care about and who cares about me right back. They have taught me to be a mix of cautious and hopeful: ready for what comes next, but still careful about who I give my heart to. It’s super helpful advice that I always carry with me. Yeah, if their advice sucked or they seemed to be way off base, I would never listen. That’s not the case, so why wouldn’t I?
- I want a story like theirs. At the end of the day, when I picture the kind of relationship that I want, it looks a lot like the one that my mom and dad have always had. Sure, I’m not in my early 20s anymore and so I didn’t meet my person that early, but that’s okay. I still have time to meet a guy who will be my best friend and partner all in one. And I have my parents to thank for their amazing example — and their amazing advice.
