It’s so cliched to think that having sex with a guy too soon is what will make him lose respect for you. Honestly, there are many other, more damaging things in a relationship that will make him not only lose his attraction for you, but also his respect. If you’re guilty of any of the following, stop now for your own sake:
- You have a sore neck from nodding all the time. You think that you have to like everything he does and think in the same way he does to make things work. Uh, how about now? Not only is this boring AF but it makes him feel like he’s got a parrot instead of a girlfriend. You’re your own person with your own opinions. Voice them.
- You answer every call on the first ring. If you’re always ready to pick up his calls, you’re making yourself way too available. Letting him wait a bit every now and then is not about playing hard to get — it’s about showing him you have a full, rich life (which you do). It also makes him see you weren’t waiting around painting your nails to bide your time before he rocked up in your life.
- You’re his personal life coach. He annoys the crap out of you and brings drama to your life, but you put up with it so that you can show him how amazing you are and how you work hard at the relationship. Oh please. You’re acting like a martyr. He knows exactly what he’s doing and if you don’t get some boundaries, he’ll continue walking all over them. How can he respect you if you don’t respect yourself?
- You’re a boomerang. You and the guy were dating on and off, and then he came back for the third or fourth time to ask you for another chance… And you keep bouncing back to him. You’ve shown him that he can get his way with you, so he’s likely to think you’re a pushover.
- You’re too nice. Maybe you’re a cool person who gives the benefit of the doubt and doesn’t go out of her way to hurt anyone, but being too nice and sweet all the time starts to become annoying. Throwing sugar at guys shows them your niceness isn’t anything valuable. If it was, it wouldn’t be for free.
- You show him you’ve still got it. When you and your boyfriend go out on the town, you sometimes like to flirt with other guys in a subtle way and dress provocatively to get their attention so that he’ll see you’re still in demand. What he really sees is that you’re insecure and desperate for attention.
- You never say no. You think it’s cool to say yes to life and love, but if you don’t know how to say no, then it’s a problem. Saying no to some things your guy suggests is really about knowing what you will and won’t do, and what you’re not comfortable with. It’s impossible to be cool with everything all the time, and worst of all, it makes him think you’re easy or lack confidence in who you are.
- You like him too much for his own good. You think he’s amazing and you’re quick to show and tell him all the time, even though you’ve only been dating for a short time. Honestly, too much of a good thing just dilutes it and makes you seem desperate for love.
- You cut out people from your life. It’s normal to want to be with your boyfriend 24/7, but if you’re making your relationship your first priority to the extent that you’re deleting valuable people from your life, a guy will just see this as a lack of loyalty. He’ll wonder what’s stopping you from doing it to him when something ‘better’ comes along.
- You’re passive aggressive. Instead of saying how you feel, you bottle things up and seethe. If you’re unhappy about something in your relationship, the room temperature drops when you’re around but your boyfriend doesn’t know why. He’s left to walk around you on eggshells and try to figure out what you feel. A guy worth your time will respect you so much more for saying how you feel and having the emotional maturity to communicate with him about it instead of dropping him an ice bomb.
- You take the lead. Guys will admit it’s sexy for a woman to flirt with them and initiate a first date, but if you’re always the one directing the relationship or trying to nudge it to the next milestone, this will make the guy feel forced to do things. Not only is this sure to create resentment, but he’ll feel he doesn’t have to do anything because you’re doing all the hard work.
