While you might be good at picking up on body language in person, when you’re texting with a dating app match or someone you’ve just started seeing, it can be harder to figure out where his head is at. To know how a guy is feeling, you have to pay attention to his messages (or lack thereof). Here’s how guys text when they like you — if the man you’re seeing sends these kinds of messages, it’s probably good news.
- They text first thing in the morning. Guys don’t send “good morning” texts unless they really like you. Fact. Waking up to a text like this means you were one of the first things he thought of when he opened his eyes and he wants you to know it. Now, if that’s not romance, what is?
- They respond quickly. He’s not waiting two hours to respond to your texts. He’s responding when he sees your message unless he’s busy. In other words, he’s not purposely leaving you on read to make himself seem more attractive. He likes you, which means he’s not playing childish games.
- They send a bunch of emojis. It depends on the guy, but a sudden spike in emojis is a pretty clear sign he’s falling for you. After all, what’s more, flirtatious than sending fireworks in every message? Um, nothing. Maybe we’re too millennial, but sending emojis is pretty much the equivalent of sending a bouquet of flowers (kidding…but basically).
- They talk about themselves. Contrary to popular belief, you want a guy who talks about himself. Maybe not all the time, but enough for you to understand who he is as a person. A guy who answers questions ambiguously is sketchy and probably doesn’t really like you. Is he providing detailed (or at least semi-detailed) information? He’s into you in a big way.
- They keep the conversation moving. He doesn’t want the conversation to stop. That’s why he keeps asking questions, even when you respond with a one-word answer. Sure, he’s trying to get to know you, but he also wants to keep you interested in him. He’s trying to make it clear he wants to talk to you all day.
- They double text. You didn’t respond to his text message in a timely manner? He doesn’t mind sending another text to keep the conversation going. That means he really, really likes you. Most people are wary of sending a double text because it can make you appear vulnerable. The fact that he doesn’t care is a sign of maturity and a sign he likes you too much to be embarrassed by his own texting habits.
- They hit you up with their favorite memes. Pretty much everyone loves memes, and if he finds a hilarious one and immediately tags you or forwards it to you directly, he’s clearly into you. Guys who like you won’t just text with words, they’ll find other ways of connecting, and memes are a great one. He’ll want to put a smile on your face.
- They compliment you. This one is a little tricky because both men and women love throwing out empty compliments. That’s why it’s important to pay attention to the type of compliments. Is he focusing on your beauty and other physical features? Or, are his compliments directed to your personality? If it’s the latter, he likes you for all the right reasons.
- They haven’t talked about sex. Personally, there’s no bigger turn-off than someone you barely know texting about sex. It means he only has one thing on his mind: getting laid. I’m not saying he can’t be flirty, but he shouldn’t be coming in hot asking about your kinks and turn-offs. A guy who really likes you isn’t going to text like that… at least not in the beginning.
- They ask personal questions. He’s asking personal questions to get to know you better. Not only is he physically interested, but he’s also trying to connect on an emotional level. He wants to gain a deeper understanding of who you are; learn what makes you tick and figure out your passions. If you’re unsure about how guys text when they like you, look no further than the overall tone and content of your conversations. If he’s feeling it, “your texting conversations will be deeper and meaningful,” says Jonathan Bennett, a certified counselor and dating expert.
- They’re different than your friends. Take his messages and compare them with your friends’. Is he using more emojis? Is he asking more thoughtful questions? Is he calling you pet names that aren’t “dude”? His messages are distinctively different than what you and your friends talk about because he’s into you romantically. When guys like you, they text you like a potential girlfriend rather than just a buddy.
- They make plans. He’s not just texting, he’s texting with a purpose. That purpose is to actually spend time together without electronics. We’ve all found ourselves in “relationships” where the only time we spoke was via phone. That’s not a relationship! Sure, it’s great that he’s texting you, but it’s even better that he’s making time for you IRL.
- They actually communicate when they’re going to be busy. Instead of going AWOL and just expecting you to deal with it, guys who really like you will go out of their way to text you and let you know things are super hectic but that they’re thinking about you. “This is an indicator of consideration for you and that again affirms that the connection is important,” explains Virginia Williamson, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “They may not want you to get the wrong impression if they are out of touch.”
- They tell you straight-up that they Like You. Did he make his feelings clear via text? Believe him! We know, we know, people lie but that doesn’t mean you should assume he’s a liar. Start your relationship on the right foot and trust his words. It’s okay to be cautious and make sure he can express himself in person too, but if it all checks out, we say go for it!
You know how guys text when they like you, but how should you text them?
There’s no need to overthink things here. Knowing how guys text when they like you is half the battle here because generally speaking, you’ll just mirror their behavior to let them know that their feelings are reciprocated. However, if you need some more pointers, these should help.
- Develop your own inside jokes. Laughter really can bring people together. You exchange memes and talk about your favorite episodes of Schitt’s Creek, but you can take this a few steps further by having your own inside jokes with him that you can recall in the future. “Starting an inside joke and understanding how to gently tease over text is an art—and a nice way to keep things feeling light-hearted. The woman doesn’t necessarily put herself out there too much either,” explains psychologist Chloe Carmichael, Ph.D. “Plus, by being lighthearted you make it easy for someone to have a back and forth with you without feeling overwhelmed or concerned about obligations.”
- Don’t beat around the bush. While you don’t want to come on too strong before you know his feelings are reciprocated (or he’s at least open to you romantically), you also don’t want to be too vague and noncommittal or he might start to think that you’re not feeling him. When you text guys you like, let them know straight-up that you like them. Ask your crush out and make it clear it’s a date. He’ll love that you’re taking the reins and will likely be enthusiastic about accepting your invitation.
- Don’t get stuck behind your phone screen. Texting with him might be great, but if you actually like him, you need to take your relationship into the real world ASAP. As dating and relationships expert James Preece advises: “Once you’ve had some interest from your texts, don’t be afraid to actually call them. So many people are scared to speak but it’s the very best thing you can do to stand out and make them interested.”
- Be confident. You’re a total catch and you have so much to offer a potential partner. The guys you text should be aware of that and like you pretty much immediately because you know your worth. “What you send them isn’t really as important as the way you send it,” Preece suggests. “Be bold, confident and positive and never complain. If he doesn’t reply immediately then you know he’s just busy and that he’ll reply soon enough. Back yourself.”