That Guy Who Won’t Commit To You — He’s Doing You A Huge Favor

Don’t waste a minute crying over the guy who won’t commit to you. Do yourself a favor and get out of the relationship. Soon you’ll realize that he’s been a blessing, not a curse. Here’s why:

  1. He’s not wasting your time. He could have pretended to be committed to you, which would have been much worse than him being open about not wanting to commit. You probably would’ve stayed with him, which would’ve wasted your precious time. One day you would’ve woken up and wished that you’d listened to the signs instead of spending two years in a relationship that was going nowhere. No guy is worth that.
  2. He’s showing you the truth. As Maya Angelou said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” He showed you that he’s not interested in being in a committed relationship, and that’s the truth. Yes, it hurts, but it’s better to know the truth and move on with your life than to stick around because of a lie.
  3. You can’t move past that. No matter how a guy might try to be light about his commitment issues, they’re a fatal flaw in relationships. How are you supposed to progress in your relationship if he’s not committed to you? Be glad you saw that side of him early on so you could get out fast.
  4. You can find someone better. Because he set you free with the truth, you can get out and find some other guy who will commit to you and won’t put you through drama. You might have missed out on this new guy if you were still stuck with that loser, so be glad you’re not.
  5. You’re not being used. A guy who’s got commitment issues could try to use you as a way to get laid easily. He could keep you hanging by pretending to want to change even when he’s actually not interested in anything serious. It can get pretty dodgy, so you’re lucky to be out of the situation.
  6. You don’t have to try to fix him. Trying to change a man is crap. It never works and soon you’ll realize that he just sucked your resources and energy while remaining the same loser. So at least you’re not stuck trying to DIY your boyfriend into a committed Mr Perfect, ’cause that wouldn’t have lasted or been worth your time. You’re supposed to be his girlfriend, not his mother or psychologist.
  7. You don’t have to date a man baby. A guy who won’t commit is either not into you or needs to grow the hell up. Saying that he’s “afraid of commitment” is just an excuse for him to get sympathy while breaking your heart. Who needs that?
  8. You’ll see he’s not the one who “got away”It’s tempting to think that if only the guy could commit, he’d be perfect and you’d both be happy. But this kind of thinking can easily make you label him “the one who got away”, which keeps you stuck. The truth is that he didn’t get away, and it wasn’t bad timing that screwed things up — he screwed them up and pushed you away with his crap. You’re actually the lucky one who got away!
  9. He’s the wrong guy for you. Period. A guy who’s really into you and is right for you will want to commit to you. He won’t give you mixed messages or make you try to figure out what he’s about. That’s what a relationship should look like, so it’s better to cut your losses with this guy who’s not making an effort.
  10. You don’t have to deal with drama. The older you get, the less time you want to dedicate to people’s BS. A guy who won’t commit to you will bring loads of drama to your doorstep, such as by not being someone you can rely on because he’s so inconsistent. You’ve saved yourself from all that pain and anxiety.
  11. You won’t have to lower your standards. What does dating a guy who won’t commit and your high dating standards have to do with each other? Well, they clearly clash. You have to downgrade your standards if you date a commitment-phobe. An example is putting up with crappy behavior from a guy who doesn’t have clear intentions, even though this conflicts with what you want. By getting out of the relationship ASAP, you can keep your high standards intact, which is a must if you want to be in a healthy relationship.
  12. His lack of commitment would have been linked to other things. It’s safe to say that a guy who can’t commit won’t be able to do other things, like show up for you when you have a problem, be your plus-one at your cousin’s wedding, love your friends as much as you do, spend time with you picturing a fantastic future, and so on. He won’t show up for you and stand by your side because he just isn’t invested in the relationship, which means you’re dating a guy who’s not even really present. Screw that. You deserve more and thanks to him, you can now go out and get it.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.