Therapist Slammed For Telling Lonely Men To ‘Step Up Their Game’

Earlier this month, newly published research revealed that heterosexual men have fewer dating opportunities than ever now that single women have upped their relationship standards. It seems like a problem with an easy solution, and couples therapist Dr. Greg Matos agrees. As women become “increasingly selective” about who we dedicate our time and energy to, “men need to address their [relationship] skills deficits,” he writes in a piece called “The Rise of Lonely, Single Men.”


My response to the hate mail #psychologistsoftiktok #men #menshealth #foryou

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  1. Women just aren’t interested in the bare minimum anymore. As Dr. Matos explains, the same ol’ nonsense from men just isn’t appealing to most single women these days. “I hear recurring dating themes from women between the ages of 25 and 45,” he writes. “They prefer men who are emotionally available, good communicators, and share similar values.”
  2. All men need to do is “step up.” Most women aren’t asking for miracles here. We just want guys who treat us with respect and courtesy, don’t cheat on us, and act like they give a damn about the relationship. Dr. Matos said if men don’t “step up,” they’re going to end up alone long-term. “This relationship skills gap that, if not addressed, will likely lead to fewer dating opportunities, less patience for poor communication skills, and longer periods of being single,” he explains. “The problem for men is that emotional connection is the lifeblood of healthy, long-term love.”
  3. Of course, most men have completely refused the idea that they need to change. Women weren’t at all surprised by the new data since we’ve known what a cesspool of garbage dating has been for years. However, straight men aren’t happy about being told they’re not perfect and in fact are pretty messed up in a lot of ways, instead claiming that women are “too picky” and have “double standards.” Easier to deflect than accept, I suppose!
  4. Men have lashed out at Dr. Matos for daring to criticize them. Taking to TikTok, the therapist revealed he was receiving “hate mail from men” due to the article and he doesn’t really get why. “Why? When all I am doing is asking you to be the best version of yourself. That’s all,” he said. “All I am inviting you to do is just be the best version of yourself.”
  5. Dr. Matos has plenty of women that are thankful to him for speaking out. “Men would rather die alone than just be good people,” one person wrote on Twitter. Another added: “The bar for straight men is the literal ground and they will still tunnel underneath it.” A third quipped: “I guess the bare minimum and misogyny isn’t working out?”
  6. All hope doesn’t have to be lost. According to Dr. Matos, all men have to do is commit to working on themselves and addressing their issues. “Men have a key role in this transformation but only if they go all-in. It’s going to take that kind of commitment to themselves, to their own mental health, to the kind of love they want to generate in this world,” he writes. “Will we step up?”
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia