Things A Narcissist Does When You Enrage Them

Things A Narcissist Does When You Enrage Them

Ever witnessed a full-blown narcissistic meltdown? If so, you know how scary it can be. They just can’t process anger and humiliation in a healthy way, which leads to explosive, manipulative behavior (even more than usual, that is). There are many moves in a narcissist’s playbook of rage-filled responses and knowing what to expect when you set them off can help you stay calm and protect yourself.

1. They amp up the gaslighting.

When you finally stand up to a narcissist, be prepared for a crazy mind game. They’ll deny doing anything wrong, twist your words, and basically try to convince you that you’re losing your mind. It’s called gaslighting, and its goal is to break your confidence and make you feel like you can’t trust yourself.

2. They project their insecurities onto you.

Narcissists can’t handle their own flaws, so they dump them on you instead! If they’re acting super selfish, they’ll accuse you of being the selfish one. Getting mad? Guess what? Now YOU’RE the angry one! It’s a twisted way to avoid taking any responsibility for their own bad behavior.

3. They have rage outbursts.

Narcissists don’t just get mad – they can completely lose it. Screaming, throwing stuff, getting all up in your face… It’s like they transform into a whole different person. These terrifying outbursts are all about control, designed to shut you up and keep you scared of ever challenging them again.

4. They give you the silent treatment. 

Angry at a narcissist? Be prepared for their disappearing act. They’ll go stone-cold, ignoring everything you say and do. This isn’t just about being mad, it’s a control tactic. They want to make you feel isolated and small, so you’ll do whatever it takes to get their attention back.

5. They start smear campaigns to ruin your reputation.

You finally stood up to a narcissist, and now they’re out to destroy your reputation. They’ll spread nasty rumors, twist your words, and basically try to turn everyone you know against you. It’s a desperate attempt to make you look like the villain and distract from their own bad behavior. The people who know you won’t be dumb enough to fall for this.

6. They play the victim.

Loving husband comforting his crying wife

Narcissists never take responsibility for their actions. Instead, they twist things around to paint themselves as the victim. They’ll exaggerate, lie, and pull on people’s heartstrings, all to make you seem like the villain. This sneaky tactic muddies the waters and makes it hard for others to see the truth.

7. They try to manipulate your emotions.

sisters comforting one another

You think you’re finally getting through to a narcissist, and suddenly they start with the waterworks or act all helpless. Or, they start making big promises to change… anything to distract you from what they actually did wrong. It’s all a game to manipulate your emotions and avoid taking real responsibility.

8. They completely discard you.

Sad, frustrated young brunette woman is crying with smartphone in hands while she sitting on the chair at apartment

One minute the narcissist is all over you, the next minute they ghost you. It’s a cruel power play designed to leave you scrambling for answers and questioning your own worth. They get off on your pain and confusion and don’t care about the damage they leave in their wake.

9. They’re overly critical.

couple sitting on the couch talking

Narcissists hate being criticized, but they’ll dish it out all day long! They pick at every little thing you do, making you feel insecure and off-balance. This is all about shifting the blame onto you and keeping the focus away from their own bad behavior. Don’t fall for it!

10. They try to turn people against you.

Don’t trust what a narcissist says about other people, and be wary of how they bring others into your dynamic. They’ll use friends, family, even new love interests to make you feel jealous. This triangulation is designed to make you question everything and feel less secure in your relationship with them.

12. They switch up the truth.

Confront a narcissist about their behavior, and prepare for them to rewrite history. They’ll twist your words, deny their actions, and generally try to gaslight you into thinking you’re the crazy one. It’s a messed-up defense mechanism to avoid ever having to admit they were wrong.

13. They try to exert financial control over you. 

Living with a narcissist who controls the money is a nightmare. They might refuse to give you access to accounts, try to sabotage your job, or threaten to leave you broke if you don’t do exactly what they say. It’s a way to keep you trapped and afraid to challenge them.

14. They resort to emotional blackmail. 

Narcissists will use any dirty trick to get what they want, including playing on your emotions. They might threaten to hurt themselves, leave you, or exaggerate a health problem to try and guilt you into submission. They want you to feel so responsible for them that you can’t say no. It’s incredibly manipulative and exhausting.

15. They try and reel you back in. 

serious man sitting outside on steps

Just when you think you’re finally free of the narcissist, they pull you back in! Suddenly, they’re full of apologies, promising to change, showering you with attention… It’s tempting, but it’s a trap. They just want to regain control, and the cycle of abuse will likely start all over again.

16. They make a lot of comparisons. 

Narcissists hate being blamed, so they find someone else to take the fall. They’ll single out a person to criticize, turn people against them, or just make them look bad in a group setting. It’s their way of distracting everyone from their own bad behavior.

17. They try to cause more problems for you. 

If you’re starting to get ahead in life or feel good about yourself, watch out. A narcissist sees this as a threat and might try to sabotage your success. They could lie to your friends, try to get you in trouble professionally, or find subtle ways to make you look bad. They want to keep you feeling insecure and dependent on them.

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Phoebe Mertens is a writer, speaker, and strategist who has helped dozens of female-founded and led companies reach success in areas such a finance, tech, science, and fashion. Her keen eye for detail and her innovative approach to modern womanhood makes her one of the most sought-out in her industry, and there's nothing she loves more than to see these companies shine.

With an MBA from NYU's Stern School of Business and features in Forbes and Fast Company she Phoebe has proven she knows her stuff. While she doesn't use social media, she does have a private Instagram just to look at pictures of cats.
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