Things You Can Tell About A Guy By NOT Having Sex With Him

When you first start dating a guy, it can be pretty hard to figure out where you stand, what he’s thinking about and whether he’s being upfront with you about everything. Want to make things clear? Don’t have sex with him so soon. You can tell a lot about a guy and any potential relationship you might have by delaying sex for a couple of dates. Here are some things I’ve picked up on over the years:

  1. How desperate he is. If he keeps badgering you, begs you, or otherwise tries to get you to hit it, then he’s actually pretty desperate for it. Sadly, if he’s pulling this stuff within the first date or so, he probably doesn’t respect your boundaries — or you.
  2. If he’s a player. Because obviously, players always bolt if they don’t get nudes, sex or a combination of the two.
  3. Whether or not he’s looking for a serious relationship. If you tell him “no” the first date or two but he really likes you, he’ll probably stick around for a bit. If he was actually just lying in hopes that he’d get laid, he will probably just stop talking to you sooner rather than later.
  4. If he’s a “Nice Guy.” Here’s a hint: Most guys who are actually nice won’t think they’re entitled to sex just because they’re so “nice.”
  5. If he’s a total nutjob. I’ve been seriously shocked about how frequently guys flip out when you refuse to sleep with them on the first date. Obviously, if a guy behaves this way when you reject him, he’s unstable and you just dodged a bullet.
  6. His interests, personality, etc. Well, you aren’t sleeping with him right off the bat, so you might get to know one another a little bit better. You might find out some cool facts that you wouldn’t have known if you two were just focused on sex.
  7. If he has double standards when it comes to sex. Some guys will actually only respect you if you reject their sexual offers the first couple of times — and you’ll know who they are because they will most likely tell you so. More often than not, they have serious double standards and need to be kicked to the curb.
  8. Whether he respects women. If he alludes to going to other girls to get his sexual needs fulfilled, or if he brags about his former conquests to you, he’s a misogynist and is not capable of having a healthy relationship. If you notice woman-hating behavior when you reject him, consider it a bullet dodged.
  9. If he has sexual insecurities. If he keeps trying to delay having sex with you, it might be because he feels insecure about himself, his body, or where he stands with you. Moreover, if he’s very desperate for sex, it’s safe to say he’s insecure about his sex life as well.
  10. Whether you actually would feel comfortable having him as a sex partner. Some guys can appear totally wholesome on the first couple of dates, but then turn out to be total creeps. By waiting a couple of dates in, you can usually tell whether he’s actually a decent person, or whether he’s a closet creep.
Ossiana Tepfenhart works as an editor to FunNewJersey's magazine, and has been working with a massive series of lifestyle sites including Woman Around Town and