You’re in relationship purgatory, waiting for an emotionally unavailable person to wake up and realize how lucky they are to have you so you can lock things down. You might think it’s worth hanging around until they get their act together, but they’re actually stringing you along and have no plans of committing in the way you want and need them to. Here are 15 things emotionally unavailable people say to keep you holding on. It’s time to cut the strings.
1. “It’s not the right time right now.”
When you talk about where things are going, the person says that it’s not the right time for them to have a relationship. But here’s the kicker: they’ll add “right now” to the end of the sentence. It’s messed up because this phrase will keep you hanging around, waiting for the one magical day that everything changes for the better. Sadly, it’ll never come.
2. “We should maybe do that.”
“Maybe” is the emotionally unavailable person’s favorite word. They can never commit to solid plans, so they’ll leave you hanging on whether or not they’ll be able to meet you for dinner or attend that concert — usually until the last minute!
3. “Whatever will be, will be.”
When did the person who’s stringing you along become so wise? Ha, this isn’t wisdom so much as their way of keeping you hanging. It’s like saying, “Let’s just see what happens.” What they’re really saying is that they don’t want to step up and nudge the relationship forward.
4. “Come over to my place.”
Someone who’s stringing you along and doesn’t want to be emotionally invested in a relationship will always turn the conversation to physical intimacy. Instead of talking about anything serious, they’ll invite you to their place so you spend quality time in their bed.
5. “I’ll have to meet your friends next time.”
Whenever you try to invite the person to meet your friends, they always have a reason for why they can’t go. They might be avoiding introductions because they don’t want to give people the impression that you’re a couple.
6. “I miss you, but I’m busy.”
The emotionally unavailable person who’s keeping you hanging might say they miss you and like you so much, but then they’ll tell you they can’t hang out… yet again. Ouch. They like to give you a bit of praise and warmth to sugar the truth and prevent you from walking away for good.
7. “You decide.”
They’re not taking the lead at all. Instead, they’re keen for you to take charge and make all the effort to keep things going. So, they’ll let you decide where you go and what activities you do while they go with the flow and never take an active role in the relationship.
8. “I’d rather be alone with you.”
When you want to head out across town, check out a new club or restaurant, or party with your friends, the person’s always more interested in spending time alone with you. While they might say that they love being home, they could be trying to keep things private so the relationship doesn’t progress.
9. “Let’s enjoy the moment.”
While you’re trying to focus on the relationship future (if there even is one), the person will be focusing on the present moment. They keep telling you to enjoy the moment and enjoy things as they are, but this is just to stall you and make you stop all that future-related talk.
10. “Let’s see.”
They love telling you that they’ll have to let you know about upcoming dates because they can’t ever commit to plans ahead of time. So, they’re the king or queen of “Let’s see.” It’s so frustrating.
11. “Just give me some time.”
You might be getting tired of waiting around for a real relationship to happen, and rightly so. However, before you get fed up and walk away, the person might throw you a statement like, “Just give me some time to figure things out.” The problem is that there’s never a finish line and that “time” will stretch on forever…
12. “I’m afraid of being hurt.”
While they might legitimately have some trust or insecurity issues they have to deal with, they might also be saying that they’re afraid of being hurt because they want you to feel sorry for them — and this ensures you stick around because you’ll see them as a victim who’s trying their best rather than a manipulative person who has you right where they want you.
13. “It’s just bad timing.”
Similar to the above “not the right time” item, this one is all about shirking accountability. Is there really such a thing as bad timing? It feels like a bit of a copout! Love will jump over any obstacle. It won’t shrug its shoulders and claim that bad timing is getting in its way.
14. “I hate relationship labels.”
Ah, the classic, “I hate relationship labels” excuse. Someone who’s stringing you along will try to dodge having a real relationship by avoiding labels such as “boyfriend” or “girlfriend.” Grow up!
15. “I’m a bad texter.”
Are they really bad at texting or do they just not want to get in touch with you? Hmm. The person can only be trusted if they give you a different communication method instead of texting, like calling or emailing. There are so many ways to stay in contact, so they have no excuse.
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