Hooking up with someone for the first time can be exhilarating but it’s also scary because your relationship is irrevocably changed. If you were hoping for a one-night stand as a minimum but think he has true potential for something more, here are a few ways to tell after that first night together.
He gets you a fresh toothbrush. There’s a chance you didn’t pack a toothbrush for your overnight adventure at his place. It happens all the time—even if it’s a scheduled and planned visit, it’s an easy tool to forget. But this guy has you covered. That means that he wants you to feel at home and sees you as someone special. Otherwise, he wouldn’t go out of his way to make sure you have everything you need.
He doesn’t rush you out the door. Even if he has work that morning, he takes his time getting ready and doesn’t force you out to continue on with his day because in his heart, he knows that’ll send a bad signal. He’d rather be 10 minutes late and take the heat than make you feel like you’re an inconvenience. If he’s a keeper, you two will get a chance to perfect the scheduling later.
He asks you how you slept. It’s always a little nervewracking to sleep in a new bed, especially if you know you may eventually be there for a couple nights a week. He may have forgotten to change the sheets or get you the number of pillows you’re normally accustomed to, but he’s hoping that you were comfortable enough to not feel super tired or overwhelmed by the extended date.
He’s more interested in asking about the days ahead than what happened last night. Trust me, he’s still thinking about last night, but in steering the conversation away from all the fun you had, he’s showing that he really wants to invest time with you as a person and not just use you for sex. In doing so, he’s saying enough—if you two didn’t have a good physical connection, he’d be less likely to see what you’re doing next weekend.
He thinks up a breakfast plan. Everyone knows the best part of the day is breakfast, and he wouldn’t even think of letting you leave before offering up a solution to grab some grub. Even if it’s impractical, the fact that he’s offering up a plan to either hit up McDonald’s or scramble some eggs himself in the kitchen for you is proof that he really wants this overnight date to be special.
He asks you more about yourself after you’ve had sex. If he seems interested prior to doing the deed and then a little dismissive after it’s done, then yes, he may have used you for sex. But if he wants to learn more about your family and friends in the aftermath, it means he’s a decent guy who sees you as way more than a hookup. If you like him, this is also a good time to ask him questions about himself that you may be curious about.
He doesn’t immediately fall asleep right after sex. Yes, it can be exhausting, especially if the encounter happened late at night. If he doesn’t even smile or try to make small talk, things can be a little awkward. But if he stays up with you a little and makes sure you have everything you need (like a charger for your phone and maybe bottled water by your bed) before passing out, that’s an amazing sign.
He makes sure you were comfortable with everything that went on. Sex with a new person can be strange, especially that first time. But not only did this guy not force you into anything you didn’t want to do but he made sure after the fact that everything was cool. Sometimes people can get caught in the moment, and the fact that he double checked before and after to make sure you were both on the same page is a move any true gentleman would make. This also proves that he’s open with communication, which is important for any good long-term relationship.
He doesn’t body-shame himself or you. If he body-shamed you, he should be history. Seriously, who does this guy think he is? But if he body-shames himself, that’s another level of awkward. He has the right to feel not so confident about himself, but having sex with you should have boosted his morale. The first time you sleep together isn’t the greatest time to come clean with low self-esteem. If he does, it may make you wonder if every sexual encounter in the future will end with you feeling like you’re his therapist.
He doesn’t treat you like a number. Yes, we all have a number and in the long-run, it really doesn’t matter. If for some reason you feel like you’re just an item on his “Want To Screw” list, he’s not worth a second date. And same for if he compares you with or even brings up other girls he’s dated. If he keeps the attention on you and seems genuine, he may very well be a keeper.
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