You want to pace yourself when getting to know someone. You want to unwrap their layers like a Christmas gift instead of just rushing in. That said, there are some important things you should know about the person you’ve started dating, especially after a few weeks. Here are 11 things to find out about the guy (and yourself). If you don’t know these things already, now’s the time to start figuring them out.
What he’s looking for
Don’t waste your time. Define the relationship! You deserve to know where you stand with someone, especially if you have strong feelings for them and you’ve been dating for a while. If they’re vague or clueless about what they want, it’s time to end things before they become more serious.
What you want from him
While you’re super curious to know what they’re thinking about you, make sure you know what you want from them. Take a few weeks in the early stage of your relationship to figure things out for yourself and really suss out the person while you date them so that you know what you want. It makes the DTR conversation a lot easier.
What he thinks about things that matter to you
You might love globe-trotting or owning your own business, but where are they at? What do they think about your goals, dreams, likes, and hobbies? It’s crucial to have a partner who’s going to support you, even if he doesn’t share the same interests and plans.
Where he’s going
He might be open about where he sees your relationship going, but where’s he going in general? Where would he be headed if you hadn’t waltzed into his life? Bear in mind, you might have to compromise in future once you get into a long-term relationship. All relationships require some level of compromise, therefore it’s all the more reason to learn a bit more about what they want out of life. His life path might require compromises from you that you don’t want to make. It’s better to know about them now!
If he’s ever going to live somewhere else
Maybe you want to live where you’re living now, but where would your partner want to settle down? It helps to know what their plans are geographically speaking so you can see if your continental dreams are going to clash or create an exciting future together.
If he wants kids
Yeah, the issue of kids is a heavy topic to bring up, but you should know what your partner thinks of children. You can easily open up the kid conversation by noticing their reaction to children in public and then asking them if they’d ever want children of their own. Again, this is definitely best reserved for when you’re in a more committed relationship, but don’t overlook it, especially if your thoughts on kids are pretty strong and non-negotiable.
What his work entails
You know what he does for a living, but what does he do on a daily basis? What about his work stresses him out and what makes him feel good? He spends so much time at work that you can learn a lot about him by learning more about his career. The bonus of asking these types of questions is that you’ll also figure out if his career ambitions and dreams are aligned with yours, or not. What’s he doing while you’re building an empire?
His love language
Everyone has a love language they follow, and there are five love languages. It might be that your partner expresses and receives love by spending time with his girlfriend or giving her praise and compliments, for example. Knowing what his love language is will help you connect better.
Everyone’s got issues and problems. Learn more about his so you get a fuller picture about him, instead of just the highlights package that people tend to show you during the honeymoon phase of the relationship. By asking him about his issues, you can also learn just how open and trusting he is with you. In addition, some issues are worth working on with your partner, while others are a sign you need to get out.
Everyone regrets something they’ve done. You should know what his regrets are. This isn’t just about wanting to be nosy, but you can learn a lot about him based on how he deals with his regrets. Has he moved on from them and learned from his mistakes? Or, does he seem to repeat the same old mistakes over and over again?
What’s really important to him? Is it making money, building a family, traveling instead of being tied down, or finding his life’s meaning? You deserve to know whatever he values most in life in the hopes that it will be similar to your values. They’ll shape your relationship and affect it, especially in the long term, so start asking him questions!
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