It’s no secret that men hate admitting certain things because doing so would require them to be vulnerable. Men perceive vulnerability as weakness and worry that society will embarrass them for it. As a man, I know we need to push through that discomfort, so to be transparent and show women we’re not totally unemotional beings, here are some things no man will admit to despite being true.
1. They Have Body Image Struggles
Men have varying body image struggles, but the most common body struggle men have is being too skinny. As a result, they visit the gym hoping to build some muscles. Some men are so desperate to buff up that they begin lifting heavy weights despite lacking experience. Other men might take the faster route and expose themselves to early heart attacks by using anabolic steroids.
2. They Feel Pressured to be Breadwinners
Historically, men were breadwinners because they had more access to employment opportunities than women. Although there are more women joining the workforce than ever, some men still feel the pressure to provide. Expecting men to be the one who brings home the bacon is deeply ingrained as a way to prove manhood and it’s hard for most men to ignore.
3. They Struggle to Balance Vulnerability and Strength
Although men love appearing strong, there are moments when they wish they could be vulnerable. Unfortunately, they let societal expectations of masculinity get in the way of showing it. Besides, if they were to be vulnerable, they worry that everyone would judge them. The truth is, though, that if we want to be authentic, we need to challenge societal norms by opening up.
4. They Fear Rejection
Nothing is more embarrassing for a man than being rejected in front of his friends. But here’s the problem with that: It limits men from finding love, as they’ll begin approaching women less. They need to know how to use rejection as fuel to keep going. If one woman rejects you, as they say: There are other fish in the sea.
5. They Crave Emotional Support
Men experience emotional challenges such as depression, anxiety, or stress. Although they want help addressing these challenges, societal expectations may prevent them from seeking it. For instance, men are expected to toughen it out because these challenges are “just a part of life,” right? But this has dire consequences—in fact, men are three times more likely to die by suicide than women, which is why we need to destigmatize getting support.
6. They Make Time for Self-Care
By self-care, we’re not necessarily talking about showering, exercising, or getting some sleep. We mean the kind of self-care practices that some would deem for women only, like exfoliation. Because here’s the thing: men also care about looking good! And there’s nothing wrong with putting some effort into your appearance.
7. They Desire a Deeper Connection With Friends
Typically, men become friends due to shared interests, such as football or politics. Others are friends because they happen to reside in the same neighborhood. However, men sometimes want something more meaningful than a shared interest in sports or culture. Sometimes, they want a friend who they can talk to about their issues, you know, someone they see as a brother.
8. They Have a Fear of Failure
Even though men tend to take risks in relationships and careers, the fear of failing occasionally crosses their minds. But they won’t admit it—admitting it would force them to be vulnerable, something men hate, as we mentioned earlier. Men need to know that failure isn’t the end of the world, and it’s not always our fault.
9. They Feel Pressured to be Self-Reliant
It’s easy for men to be self-reliant as long as they have a job. What happens, though, if the man loses his job for whatever reason? It’s a lot harder for him to do so. Because of the expectations of society for the man to be the provider, he’d rather exhaust his life savings than admit he needs some financial assistance. Some men finally seek assistance only after accumulating tons of debt.
10. They Struggle With Expressing Their Emotions
Some men wish to express their emotions but can’t. That’s because society often places less emphasis on emotional education and communication for boys and men. As a result, they tend to communicate in a less nuanced manner. For instance, a man may express anger at every occurrence when remaining calm would have been better.
11. They Fear Aging
Common health problems in aging men include diabetes, cardiovascular disease, sexual dysfunction, depression, and vision problems. Some diseases are so severe that they can force men to retire early. Early retirement is bad enough, and now they have to spend tons of money managing their age-related illness. That scares him into thinking he’s going to go into debt from borrowing loans to take care of his health.
12. They Struggle With Identity
We’ve established how sometimes men struggle to keep up with societal expectations. It can be so extreme that they begin questioning whether they’re men the moment they deviate from the norms. Let’s say someone is a stay-at-home dad, they might feel judged by other people who are more traditional when it comes to gender roles. It’s a tough balance.
13. They Tend to Self-Isolate
Sometimes, men go through stuff that affects them emotionally. However, some men are too embarrassed to break down in public because they think it’s unmanly. Even so, they won’t even speak up about what’s happening to those in their trusted circle. As a result, some isolate themselves from people and cry where nobody can see them. By weeping in self-isolation, men can avoid getting others’ sympathy which they hate receiving.
14. They Struggle With Fatherhood
Although men like being fathers, there are challenges that come with fatherhood they hate. It’s a big transition from being a romantic partner to meeting a child’s needs by changing diapers and feeding. This change may be hard for some fathers to adjust to. Also, depending on their work and paternity leave policies, they may struggle to balance both.
15. They Hate Stereotypes About Them
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Men may laugh off some stereotypes at their expense, but deep down they hate them. For instance, some men may hate the idea they’re hypersexual and would sleep with any woman. Others hate the notion that traits like stoicism and aggressiveness are symptoms of toxic masculinity. For instance, (healthy) aggressiveness is sometimes necessary in setting boundaries or resolving conflicts.
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