Everyone gets a bit self-absorbed at times, but most of us can recognize when we’re being selfish and monopolizing a conversation so we can snap ourselves out of it. Sadly, people who are self-absorbed by nature lack this awareness and end up annoying everyone else around them as a result. Here are some of their most irksome behaviors.
1. Constantly talking about themselves
Self-absorbed people have a habit of steering every conversation back to themselves. They outright ignore what everyone else is thinking and instead talk about their own experiences, achievements, problems, etc. As a result, everyone around them ends up feeling like their stories don’t matter, and conversations end up being one-sided and completely boring. Hearing them waffle on and on about stuff no one cares about is not anyone’s idea of fun.
2. Not listening to people
Because they’re always the ones talking, self-absorbed people never hear what anyone else has to say. That’s fine by them because they don’t care about anyone’s opinions but their own anyway. They might be physically present in a conversation, but their minds are elsewhere, usually thinking about what they want to say next. Most people recognize that good conversations are about a two-way flow, but not them. You could just nod and smile and never say a word and they’d probably prefer it that way.
3. Constantly needing validation and attention
Self-absorbed people also tend to be low on self-esteem, which is why they’re so desperate for everyone to tell them that the sun shines out of their backside 24/7. To get the praise they want, they go to great (and often embarrassing) lengths to be noticed. They exaggerate (or outright lie) when telling stories or sharing their “accomplishments” and fish for compliments nonstop. When they don’t get it, they pout and act like the world has done them wrong. (Also, if you’re someone who struggles with needing validation, our sister site, Sweetn, might be for you. They have some amazing tips and advice for how to overcome it. Check it out here.)
4. Not respecting personal boundaries
People who are self-absorbed have no problem crossing lines they really should be on the other side of. They pry or ask intrusive questions about your personal life and make you uncomfortable by being overbearing despite you making your boundaries very clear. What’s even worse is that even if they realize what they’re doing and how inappropriate they’re being, they just don’t care. This lack of respect for your boundaries feels really invasive and really infuriating, as well. Who do they think they are?
5. Having a lack of empathy for other people
People who are self-absorbed often have a hard time showing empathy. This is because they find it nearly impossible to put themselves in other people’s shoes or understand their perspectives. Even worse, they have no desire to do so. It’s really hurtful, especially when you’re the type of person who’s always sympathetic to their troubles and tries to help them when they’re in a bind. In the end, they just come off as being in their own world and completely heartless. Who wants to be around someone like that?
6. Not taking responsibility for their screw-ups
A self-absorbed person can never admit they’re wrong. They refuse to acknowledge or take responsibility for their mistakes, instead casting the blame on anyone and everyone else and assuming the victim role. If you dare to criticize them, they get defensive and accuse you of attacking them or being mean. It’s infuriating, especially when everyone else manages to take accountability for their actions.
7. Dominating conversations
Self-absorbed people think they run the conversational show and you can never get a word in edgewise. They interrupt and talk over people, making it hard for anyone else to contribute. Even if they don’t have much to add to the topic being discussed, they’ll make sure their voice is the loudest (and most obnoxious) in the room. Many times, this ends up with them basically talking to themselves since everyone immediately disengages the minute they get going. Why can’t they read the room?
8. Giving unsolicited (and unwanted) advice
People who are self-absorbed tend to throw their two cents in without being asked, usually because they believe they know best. They butt into situations or offer opinions that no one wants to hear, assuming their insight is invaluable. This can come off as arrogant and presumptuous. It’s like they’re always ready to jump in with their “wisdom” even when it’s not relevant or welcome. Pointing out that you’re good on your own and don’t need feedback falls on deaf ears, as well, which is even more annoying.
9. Showing off on social media
Self-absorbed people love nothing more than posting gratuitous selfies and self-congratulatory posts on their socials. Everyone shares their highlight reels, but they take it to a whole new level, finding every opportunity possible to brag, show off, and try to make people jealous of all the things they have that others don’t. They’re obviously looking for likes and comments as a way to boost their own egos, but it’s a little bit sad and kind of embarrassing for them.
10. Disregarding people’s time and effort
More often than not, they couldn’t care less about the time or effort you put into things. They show up late for appointments, cancel plans last minute, and expect you to adjust to their schedule even if it’s inconvenient. They think they’re the center of the universe and that everyone else should revolve around them, and any insinuation to the contrary doesn’t tend to go over well. What makes them think your time isn’t just as valuable as theirs? They come off as dismissive, unappreciative, and incredibly entitled (and they are likely all three).
11. Overshadowing people’s achievements
Self-absorbed people tend to downplay or overshadow people’s achievements because they’re so terrified of other people looking better than them. If someone else is receiving attention or praise, they always try to turn the focus back on themselves or minimize the other person’s accomplishment. You’re trying to have a celebration and they’re being an annoying naysayer. It’s like they can’t stand someone else being in the spotlight. Instead of sharing in the joy, they find ways to shift the attention back to themselves, which is mentally and emotionally draining.
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