Things Were Going So Well, But Is He Starting To Get Cold Feet?

Things have been going great with your guy and you’re pretty sure you’re on the right track. However, lately you’ve been a bit worried that he’s getting cold feet about your relationship. Here are some signs that your instincts are right.

  1. He stops talking about your future together. Before, you guys would happily chat about your future plans, whether that be a week from now or a year from now. You might have even talked about your future wedding or children. These days, however, it seems like he never brings up the topic and when you do, he instantly steers the conversation in another direction.
  2. He stops making future plans. Along the same lines, he’s stopped making future plans with you. He still hasn’t RSVP’d to his cousin’s wedding in two months, and somehow he hasn’t managed to confirm his time off for that weekend away you guys had planned in a couple of weeks.
  3. He isn’t texting or calling as much. You’ve noticed that he texts less and less, and when he does shoot you a message, it’s much shorter than it used to be. Not only that, but his texts are usually superficial instead of meaningful. He isn’t sharing as much with you about his day or his feelings and you’re starting to feel like you guys aren’t as close as you usually are.
  4. The sex is…off. It could be that you just aren’t doing it as much, or maybe when you do get intimate, he seems like he’s not as focused on you. Maybe he’s tried some new moves in the bedroom trying to bring back the spark but it didn’t work, or maybe things just feel weird.
  5. He cancels plans at the last minute. He just doesn’t seem to make as much of an effort as he used to in order to see you. He canceled your last date only an hour before and he’s been “busy at work” a lot lately. You’re starting to wonder if you’ve done something wrong.
  6. You guys have been arguing a lot and it seems like he’s the one picking fights. If he’s suddenly picking fights with you about seemingly trivial things, he might be getting cold feet. He may want to start a fight with you in the hopes that it will escalate and he has an excuse to end the relationship. Or, he may suddenly find certain traits about you or things you say more frustrating or annoying than he used to. Either way, it’s not a good sign.
  7. You aren’t fighting at all. On the opposite side of the spectrum, if you used to fight a lot and suddenly you aren’t fighting at all, this could be a bad sign too. Sometimes, when someone gives up in a relationship, they stop fighting altogether because it doesn’t seem worth it anymore to even try. If that’s him, then he doesn’t want to fight with you because he doesn’t think it will ever get resolved, and quite frankly he doesn’t care anymore.
  8. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells. Call it woman’s intuition, or maybe it’s something more obvious like that he’s literally angry about everything you do. If you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells around him, this could be a bad sign. It could mean he’s always looking for something wrong and you’re picking up on that. People tend to look for something wrong in a relationship when they start getting cold feet. It could be anxiety or it could be he’s decided he wants out and wants an excuse to end it.
  9. He’s stopped inviting you to things you used to be invited to. Maybe he used to include you in guys poker night because a couple of his friends bring their girlfriends, or maybe you always came to his family’s Sunday dinner. But lately he hasn’t mentioned either one to you and you’re left wondering if it got canceled or he just didn’t want you to go with him. You may even find yourself making excuses. After all, guys need their time alone, right? And what’s wrong with spending time with his family or friends without you? But if it’s becoming an overall pattern, he might be trying to assess what his life would be like without you in it. That or he just plain doesn’t want to spend time with you anymore.
  10. You’re putting in all the work. You get the feeling that if you just stopped calling, texting, or making plans with him that you just wouldn’t hear from him again at all… ever. If you’re the only one putting in effort into the relationship, then he’s probably re-evaluating things. Time for you to do that too.
I love to write on my laptop with my cat on my lap and a cup of tea nearby :)