Like most single women, I never expected to end up this way. I dreamed of a white wedding like any other little girl and figured I’d meet my person in college like most people. Of course, it didn’t exactly work out that way, but it worked out for the better somehow. Here’s what I thought single life was like vs. my actual reality:
- I thought I’d be lonelier. I’m an only child and have never had a problem keeping myself entertained. Since I work for myself, I figured being single would be extra lonely because there are no coworkers to talk TV with and no boyfriend to eat dinner with. But strangely, I’m totally fine. My work, friends, family and pop culture obsessions keep me feeling pretty connected to the world.
- I thought people would judge me. I always figured that staying single meant everyone in my life would be on my case, from my parents to relatives to best friends. Turns out, everyone totally gets how hard it is to meet someone who’s normal and no one even asks if I’m dating anyone.
- I thought I’d feel like a loser. It always seemed like all the cool, confident women were in serious relationships. But I’m just as confident and aren’t ashamed of my single status.
- I thought I’d go back to my ex. There’s always that one ex-boyfriend, that “what if?” idea that going back to what felt natural and right at one point is so much easier than trying with someone new. I moved on from my ex ages ago but never really gave up on him as a concept. Now that seems nuts and I can’t imagine it. I look forward, not back.
- I thought I’d feel incomplete. This couldn’t be less true. I always figured that being single meant walking around like something was missing, that I couldn’t really be happy in my own skin. I’m actually more content now than I was when I was in relationships.
- I thought I wouldn’t be able to walk away. It’s so hard to find someone, so how could I possibly walk away when something went wrong? But of course, I can’t force myself to stay in a crappy situation, and I’m worth more than settling for a bad boyfriend. Instead, I’ve had no problem realizing when it’s time to give up.
- I thought I’d be the only one. There’s something about being solo that makes it seem like it’s super simple for everyone else to meet their soulmate and be forever happy – but I’m not the only single girl that I know, and that’s a huge relief.
- I thought I’d give up. I figured there was only so many awful dates, almost breakups and disappointment a person could take. But optimism is still my thing and I’m still hopeful I’m going to meet someone I really connect with. After all, you don’t succeed if you don’t try, and you don’t get what you don’t ask for. So universe, I’m asking for love, and I don’t think that’s too crazy.