It can be hard to see a situation for what it really is when you’re wrapped up in what you want things to be. No matter how much you like him and how much you wish he felt the same, here are some signs he’s just not that into you.
- He basically straight-up tells you. Some guys are not here for the games or the subtlety and will be as straightforward as possible. He’ll say things like he just wants to be friends or he’s only looking for something casual right now. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that he doesn’t really mean it or that he’ll change his mind. You’re only fooling yourself.
- You get ignored more than he responds to you. If he leaves you on read, takes forever to answer your texts, or lets your calls go to voicemail, he’s trying to send you a very clear message that he hopes you’ll pick up: he’s not feeling it. Sure, he’s “busy”—we all are—but if he can make time to binge Game of Thrones on a Wednesday night after work, he can send you a quick text.
- He repeatedly puts you in the friend zone. If he calls you things like dude or bro, he’s not looking to make you his girlfriend anytime soon. Same goes for if he never compliments you. Some guys may be shy, but if he’s into you, he’s going to want you to know he’s attracted to you. Also, if he doesn’t feel the need to clean up/look decent around you, it’s clear that he’s not trying to win you over. He’s telling you that you’re basically one of the guys and you should take the hint.
- You’re his little secret. He doesn’t tell anyone about you, doesn’t bring you around his friends or family, and he definitely doesn’t want to take any pictures together let alone post them on social media. I’m not saying that the only way to prove that he likes you is to shout from the heavens that you’re his girl, but if no one in his life knows you exist, that’s a MAJOR sign.
- He only gets in touch at night. If he only texts at night—AKA booty call hours—maybe he’s trying to tell you something, like that you’re only in his life for sex. Also, if he texts a lot or is glued to his phone when you are together then there may be other things, or people, occupying his attention.
- You’re always the one making plans. You always have to be the one suggesting dates or plans, otherwise, they never happen. If he does want to hang out, it’s always indoors and when you’re together, he makes little to no eye contact. Another sign is that he doesn’t want to hang out with you alone. Now, this isn’t a sure-fire sign that he isn’t into you, because some people feel more comfortable in group settings, but if you’ve been talking for a while and he still hasn’t taken the time to get to know you alone, maybe he’d rather keep it that way.
- He’s way too flaky. When you’re together, he’s always in a hurry to leave. Maybe he’s constantly checking his watch or his phone to see the time or he’s constantly rescheduling plans the day of or he doesn’t even show up. Every time you ask to hang out, talk, or text, he hits you with the “I’m busy.” Come on, girl, take the hint!
- He’s a terrible conversationalist. He never initiates the conversation and when you do talk, it’s dry, boring, and very one-wordy. Neither of you knows anything personal about each other. Of course, it will be like this at first, but if he’s into you, there will be a mutual desire to get a little bit deeper. Another sign is he shows no interest in your interests. He may not like the same things as you, but a guy who likes you will at least be open to trying, seeing, or simply hearing about the things you like. This one seems pretty obvious, but if he’s talking about, flirting with, or looking at other girls when he’s with you, maybe take a step back.
- He’s just not making an effort. If he’s not reciprocating the amount of effort you put into talking, hanging out, etc. then he’s showing you that you’re not a priority. It’s clearly not a good match. You deserve a guy who’s excited about you and wants you to be part of his life. This guy isn’t it, so it’s time to move on.
You deserve someone who’s totally crazy about you and recognizes all the amazing qualities you have to offer. If someone is showing you signs that they’re not all-in, do yourself a favor and walk away so you can be open and ready for someone who will be.