I Told My Best Friend That Her Boyfriend Hit On Me & She Blamed Me

I’d known my bestie since we were kids and I always thought we had each other’s back. Then she let a guy get between us and it effectively ended our friendship. Here’s how it all went down.

  1. She got a new guy. I was really happy for her when she texted me to tell me she’d met an amazing guy. She’d been single for ages and was really looking forward to starting something real with her new boyfriend. She invited me to meet him and I was thrilled. We made plans and decided to meet at the club.
  2. He seemed a bit… weird. My first impression of the guy was that he was OK but he seemed a little shifty. I don’t know, there was just something about him that seemed off. I think it was a bit of a shady streak that showed up in his eyes, as weird as that sounds. Still, I was my usual polite self and I didn’t let on that I wasn’t his biggest fan.
  3. My friend excused herself at one point and that’s when things really went downhill. At one point in the night, after we’d all been drinking and dancing, my friend excused herself to take a call outside. That meant I was left alone with her boyfriend. While we were chatting about general stuff like our careers, he started moving a bit closer. At first I thought it was my imagination, but then I realized he was coming into my space a little too much. I moved away to send him the message that he needed to back off. I also felt like he was always looking my way. A few times I’d glance at him and find him staring at me, which was super creepy.
  4. He started complimenting me. He said I was a nice person and I thanked him for the compliment, telling him he seemed like a nice guy in return. I thought it would end there and that we’d just been polite to each other because of the situation we found ourselves in. I was being nice because he was my bestie’s boyfriend, duh. Then he took things too far.
  5. He told me I was his type. He said that I was more of his type than my friend was and then he gave me a flirtatious touch on the arm. I jolted back and asked him WTF he was doing. He then said, “Never mind, just chill” and went back to drinking his beer. When my friend came back, I was still giving him a not-impressed stare.
  6. It was time to end the evening. I didn’t want to stand there making lame conversation about the weather so I told my friend I had to leave because I had to work the next day. I didn’t want to tell her what had happened with her BF right there. I wanted to go home and tell her the next morning when she was sober and he wasn’t within earshot.
  7. It was a really hard conversation to have. I had to tell her what her boyfriend had done, but how? I knew that I couldn’t have this conversation via text or phone so I asked if she could meet up with me for a coffee, which she was happy to do. On the way to the restaurant, I felt so conflicted. What was I doing? Was I overreacting? No, I knew that I wasn’t. I knew that my friend was like a sister to me and she deserved to know what was going on with her sleazy boyfriend.
  8. I tried to break it to her gently but it all backfired anyway. I slowly, carefully told her what had happened with her boyfriend. She listened to me but then she shook her head and said that it all sounded crazy. I hated being the one to hurt her like this! I thought the news might be shocking, so I carried on trying to explain myself in a calm way. Then she told me that I was the one who was clearly too friendly with him. No wonder he’d thought I was into him. Wait, what?
  9. I’d done nothing wrong. I’d been polite to the guy, for goodness’ sake. I hadn’t given him any sign I was interested in him and I certainly hadn’t flirted with him. When I told her this, she just said that I was lying about what her boyfriend had done. She then resorted to the lowest blow ever, saying that I was just jealous because she was finally happy.
  10. I tried to make her understand. But she just didn’t seem to care. She carried on dating him and even though I thought we could continue with our friendship, she cut me out of her life. It was so heartbreaking and it almost made me regret telling her what had happened. But I knew in my heart that I couldn’t have done that. It would’ve hurt her more if she’d found out about it at a later stage and knew that I’d kept it from her.
  11. He cheated on her. I lost my friend. She never got in touch with me again, but a few months later, I heard from a mutual friend of ours that the guy had cheated on her. I hope she finally realizes that I wasn’t out to hurt her or rain on her parade. I was just looking out for her.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.