My ex had been lying to me for months, telling me he was “just friends” with a girl he was spending a whole lot of time with and that he wanted to be with me. In reality, he’d been cheating on me — and she wasn’t even the only other girl. On top of all of that, a few months later he told me about how he was cheating on the girl he cheated on me with! Talk about being a piece of crap boyfriend.
By that time, I’d gotten over what he had done to me. I forgave him and chalked it up as him being young and stupid and not worth my time. When I heard he was doing it again, I didn’t have a choice but to tell her he was cheating. Here’s why:
- She deserved to know. I don’t care who you are — if someone is cheating on you, you deserve to know. She needed to know the truth of what was going on behind her back and what type of guy she was dating so she could hopefully make the informed decision to cut his worthless ass loose.
- He did the same thing to me. I knew what she was going through because he’d done the same thing to me. I knew what it felt like to be suspicious. I used to always wonder if he was lying to me or if I was just overreacting to the fact that random phone numbers were popping up on his phone. I also knew how much of a smooth talker he is, and how he has the ability to get himself out of any lie you try to catch him in. He tells you wonderful things about you and how he would never do something like that to you. He majored in BS and wasn’t afraid to use it.
- She seems like a good person and deserves better. Yes, she’s the girl that he picked instead of me, but she’s still a good person. She’s beautiful, smart, funny and has so many qualities that she can offer in a relationship. He was treating her like crap, and she deserved someone who treated her well.
- She was being taken advantage of. It’s never fun looking back on a relationship and realizing you were being taken advantage of and weren’t being valued. Instead of her looking back and wondering why she wasted years of her life months or years down the road, I wanted to help it end as soon as possible.
- Nobody else was going to tell her. Other people knew he was cheating on her, but they never confronted her about it. People would say they feel bad for her and that it was so sad he was doing that to her. They would talk about her but never to her. I figured even if it went horribly, even if she didn’t believe me or didn’t listen, at least I told her he was cheating on her.
- He didn’t deserve her (or any other woman). Any guy who thinks it’s okay to act like that deserves to be alone. And yeah, frankly I did want a bit of revenge. I wanted him to lose out on another great girl. Is that so wrong?
- He needed to be put in his place. He had gotten away with it for so long already, and it needed to stop. Not only had he done it to me multiple times, there was no telling who he had cheated on before me and who he might after her. I did it to save her from being in a relationship with a crappy guy, but also to put him in his place so he would realize he couldn’t get away with cheating forever.
- I knew it was the right thing to do. As uncomfortable as it was, I knew telling her was the right thing to do. And it actually turned out surprisingly well. We laughed together, cried together, and shared some of the horrors of being in a relationship with such a manipulative guy. I can’t tell you now if he has stopped cheating on his girlfriends, but I do know I did the right thing and would do it again in a heartbeat.