10 Signs He Cheated Even Though He Won’t Admit It

10 Signs He Cheated Even Though He Won’t Admit It

As crappy as it may be, people cheat. Just because someone makes that ultimate betrayal though doesn’t mean they’ll fess up to it even if you ask them point blank. So if he’s thinking it’s better to deny ’til you die, here are 10 signs he cheated even if he won’t admit it.

  1. Something just feels off. In your gut, you know. You’re looking for concrete proof but you might never get that. Something still feels off, though, and there’s a reason for that—deep down, you know that he’s cheating. You just don’t want to fully admit it to yourself. You don’t want to face reality because you don’t want to lose him. You can’t handle the truth so you just keep living in denial of the fact that he cheated.
  2. He’s acting differently. There are two different ways that guys act after this kind of betrayal. They either pull away and distance themselves because they’re wondering if they want to end the relationship or they’re overly attentive because they feel guilty. He might be making up for something he doesn’t want you to know about or he could be giving himself space to figure out what he really wants. Either way, things just aren’t the same once he’s cheated.
  3. You don’t trust him. If you’re questioning his commitment that seriously then it should tell you something regardless of whether or not he cheated. If you’re trying to go through his things, look for clues like Nancy Drew, and dissect his every story then it’s pretty damn clear that you’ve lost all sense of faith in him. He can make you try to feel nuts all he wants but if he lost your trust, he probably deserved it.
  4. He keeps his phone under lock and key. He doesn’t leave his phone on the table, he takes it with him when he goes to the bathroom, and it’s always on silent. He’s trying to keep you from asking questions because his cell is blowing up nonstop. Committed men are casual with their phones because they have nothing to worry about, but cheaters hold onto their cells for dear life because that’s the one thing that holds all of their secrets.
  5. His stories keep changing. He tells you what he’s been up to but when you question him on something, he “accidentally” forgot an intricate detail. Then you run into someone and they create another loophole in his stories. The problem is the things he tells you are stories—as in, fictional stories. The reality is he can’t keep his story straight because covering his tracks is easier said than done. The problem is that now that he’s cheated, he has to make sure his cover isn’t blown.
  6. He seems to be busier than ever with no real reason for his nuts schedule. Suddenly he’s the most popular guy in the world. Anytime you have plans, something else always seems to come up. He bails at the last minute with some silly excuse that makes you wonder where he really is. You’re not just overthinking, he’s just a bad liar because the truth is he’s busy with a girl who isn’t you. He hasn’t just cheated once, he’s probably still doing it.
  7. Even his friends are acting strange around you. They have a secret they’re trying to keep in order to honor their “bro code,” but any decent guy wants to tell you the truth. Even indecent guys don’t always make good liars. That means that if they know something, they no longer know how to act around you. They’re afraid of giving up their buddy, so even if you had a good relationship with his friends once upon a time, it’s officially awkward now. It’s very likely he cheated. That, or he’s about to propose!
  8. He showers before sex. He’s washing off the remnants of another woman. He doesn’t want you to smell the scent of another woman and he also feels as if he cleanses his sins away. Yep, he’s cheated. Once upon a time, you two could just jump in the sack, but now he always has to shower first. Just ask yourself this, what’s the point in him getting clean before the two of you get dirty?
  9. He starts picking fights with you. He’s finding flaws in you so that he can level the playing field. If you’re doing things wrong then it makes him feel like his actions are somewhat justified, so he looks for things to get angry with you about. He sheds away his guilt by making you guilty of something too. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but it certainly makes him feel better.
  10. He turns the confrontation around on you. If you accuse him of having cheated or even just start to question one of his stories, everything somehow ends up being your fault in the end. He’s manipulating you so that every time he’s in the doghouse, you end up trading places. You’re left wondering how the conversation took a turn but somehow you’re also apologizing for whatever he’s convinced you that you’ve done wrong. Just like that, the tables have turned and you never get a real explanation so your worries about him cheating are never fully put to rest.

What to do if you think he cheated

  1. Analyze your proof. You can’t just convince yourself he’s cheated with no proof to back it up. Not only is that unfair, but you’ll end up looking like an idiot making wild accusations that are completely unfounded. If you’re really convinced that he’s being unfaithful or has been in the past, you’ll need cold hard evidence to back you up. Consider the facts. What is it that’s drawn your suspicions? Have there been any dead giveaways? You’ll need more than coincidences if you’re going to go ahead with this.
  2. Confront your partner with your feelings. It’s time to have that difficult conversation with your partner. Tell him you’re sure he’s cheated and then present him with irrefutable evidence. If he’s a decent person, he’ll admit that he f–ked up and offer an explanation (feeble as it may be) for what went down. If he lies, you can implore him to be honest, but you can’t make him man up and admit that he cheated.
  3. Decide if there’s a way forward for your relationship. If he’s honest about what happened and seems genuinely sorry that he cheated, you’re now in an interesting position. Is the relationship one that you want to save? Is there any way to come back from this? If you decide that you want to stay with him and make things work and he feels the same, that’s a path you can tread together. However, if he continues to lie or you feel that there’s no way to repair the damage that’s been done, you know what you need to do.
  4. Walk away if necessary. This is probably the best move you can make when you find out your boyfriend cheated on you, whether he admits it or not. You’ll never be able to guarantee that it won’t happen again and even if he promises it won’t, the fear will likely control your relationship moving forward. In that case, wish him the best and say goodbye. If he wanted to keep you, he wouldn’t have cheated in the first place.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.