“It’s A Trap!” & 10 Other Things We Guys Think About Your Makeup

While they may not use it daily, I feel like most women wear makeup at least occasionally. While there’s certainly nothing wrong with getting all dolled up if you love it, I would caution women not to do so solely to impress men. After all, not all of us guys love a fully painted face. In fact, many of us think these things about makeup.

  1. Less is more. There are very few men who enjoy when women wear an abundance of makeup. It’s always rubbing off on you or your clothing and you’re always having to excuse yourselves for a touch-up. Makeup is definitely one of those things where less is more. Remember, it’s not facepaint, so if it’s obvious that you’re wearing it, you’re probably wearing too much (at least in our opinion).
  2. Dark eyes are scary. There’s nothing wrong with a little bit of eye makeup, but too much can be a problem. Using dark eye makeup in excess can make a woman appear downright scary. I don’t want to speak for all men, but most of us tend to like soft, kind eyes, and that’s tough to pull off with a lot of dark makeup. We know you guys love the whole smoky eye effect and if you’re into it then by all means, go for it—but please don’t do it on our behalf.
  3. Lips shouldn’t be that red. Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve never been a huge fan of lipstick. It’s easy to tell that you’re wearing it, so we know that’s not your natural color. I get what it’s trying to do, but I don’t ever recall a time when I was dying to kiss a girl because I loved the color of her lipstick. It’s not like guys need directions to your mouth in case we want to kiss you. If we want to lock lips, we know where to find yours.
  4. It’s a trap! We’ll sometimes look at women wearing makeup and feel like they’re trying to trick us. I know it sounds awful but it’s true. We’re not saying anyone wearing makeup is ugly underneath, but it does make us think about what you’re trying to hide and why you’re trying so hard to make us believe that you’re extra attractive.
  5. What else is fake? OK, this will sound harsh, but for many guys, there’s something a little inauthentic about wearing makeup. If you’re in a situation where you’re trying to get a guy’s attention, wearing a lot of makeup does bring up the question of what else isn’t quite real. Does she have a phony personality and is trying to compensate for it by wearing a lot of makeup? I’m not saying that’s the case, but it’s a question that does get asked.
  6. You don’t need to change what’s already there. This is a common thought men have when it comes to makeup. You don’t need to use makeup to completely change how you look. Sometimes you go so far as to alter the skin tone of your entire face, which is honestly kind of off-putting. Other times, you’ll draw on eyebrows or use makeup tricks to add facial features that don’t exist otherwise. To be frank, it seems like too much work for something that will only stay on for a few hours and that we’re going to see you without eventually anyway.
  7. At least make it look natural. If you’re going to wear makeup, you should at least make it seem like you’re not by keeping it subtle. Simple touches like adding a little blush or giving yourself rosy cheeks are great, but please avoid crazy colors of eyeshadow. From men’s perspective, you look better if you just use makeup to accent your best features rather try to hide or create others.
  8. Who are you trying to impress? If you’re in a committed relationship, know that it’s hard for us guys not to get a little suspicious or concerned when we see our girlfriends piling on the makeup. I mean, you already have our love and we know what you look like with or without makeup on, so there’s no need to keep trying to impress us. If we see our girlfriends using a lot of makeup or trying too hard to look your best, it makes a little part of us think you’re looking to upgrade her boyfriend and that’s not a good thing.
  9. Please pick your spots. Sometimes, wearing makeup is all about picking the right time and place. If we’re going to a fancy restaurant then it’s probably appropriate, but if we’re going out to play mini-golf or grab some ice cream, it’s completely unnecessary. Certain places and activities don’t require makeup no matter who you are, so please keep this in mind.
  10. Save it for the photo shoot. One time when most men are fine with women wearing makeup is when we know a lot of photographs will be taken. It’s nice to have pics with people looking their best, even if they used makeup as a little enhancement. Honestly, we’d rather see a woman wearing makeup in a photograph than in real life.
  11. Be comfortable going without it. Even if you enjoy wearing makeup, I think most men would prefer to be with someone who’s at least capable of going without it most days. Yes, it’s fine to use for certain occasions and we don’t want you to stop wearing makeup if it’s something you enjoy. That being said, it can be a turn-off to be with someone who has a compulsive need to always have a full face applied. Plus, don’t you want a guy who thinks you look beautiful without makeup? How will you ever find him if you don’t become comfortable going without it sometimes?
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.