Want To Be A Guy Magnet? Then Learn To Love Being Single

Have you ever noticed that when you’re enthusiastic about the idea of dating, there seems to be absolutely zero contenders, yet when you’re loving the single life and not looking to ruin it, there’s a smorgasbord of options? While you may chalk this up to annoying timing, chances are it isn’t such a coincidence. Here’s what’s really going on:

  1. You’re a challenge. This goes beyond just playing hard to get because you ARE hard to get. If you’re taking full advantage of being single in 2017, i.e., enjoying a full social calendar, pursuing a kickass career, binge-watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix and only shaving your legs when you damn well please, it’s going to take more than some dude with an iPhone 7 to swipe you off your feet. The fact that guys like the chase is old news, but it’s still just as relevant.
  2. You’re not always available. When you’re busy doing whatever the hell you want, whenever the hell you want, you have better things to do than sit by your phone waiting for a “what u doin’?” When your contact is delayed, this sends the message that your time and attention are in limited supply and therefore all the more alluring.
  3. You have self-respect. And not only self-respect but also self-love. Whether it’s your time, your energy or your affection, you know what you’re worth and you’re not going to pass it around like men’s club cards on the Vegas strip. This kind of self-assurance and high standards will make any man step up their game and prove they’re worthy of your time (or at least they’ll try).
  4. You’re not overly agreeable. Living in the world of singledom, you have plenty of time to form your own beliefs, values, and ideals without being influenced by a significant otherand the longer you sit with these thoughts, the more unlikely they’ll be swayed by the opinions of others. While it’s great to have things in common, it’s your differences that will keep things interesting.
  5. You’re ambitious. For women not in pursuit of love, career is usually a huge priority. And while some might be building their relationship, you’re busy building your empire. While once upon a time it was thought that the lady boss was unappealing in the dating world, guys these days (at least the ones worth your time) aren’t afraid of a woman with drive. In fact, the confidence that comes with it is an instant turn-on.
  6. You have plenty of interests and hobbies. When your spare time isn’t taken up with date nights and sitting on the couch pretending you like The Walking Deadyou get to indulge in the activities you truly enjoy. A month in Europe with your BFF? Why not? Casual pole dancing classes? Sign me up. An Instagram account following the life of your cat? Overnight sensation. And while you have a ball exploring anything and everything that floats your boat, you become all the more interesting.
  7. You value your friends and family. When guys aren’t on your agenda, you clock a lot of hours with the other important people in your life. Being surrounded by a good group of friends and maintaining a great relationship with your family says two things to potential love interests: one, that you’re not an anti-social loser/serial killer and two, you’re not likely to wrap yourself up completely in a romantic relationship and become smothering.
  8. You’re passionate. Whether it’s animal rights, the environment, or achieving the perfect salsa to cheese ratio in a bowl of nachos, you know what you care about. Being single gives you the time to be inquisitive about the world around you and how you feel about important issues. And integrity is always going to be attractive.
  9. You’re independent. In true Beyoncé style, you’re completely self-sufficient, not only financially but also emotionally. You don’t need some dude to fill a void in your heart, much less pay for your Domino’s. You can have it all with extra cheese and you don’t need anyone else to provide it for you. Not only does this affect your confidence, it shows you’re not likely to turn around and be the needy type.
  10. You have options. If you’re happily single and social, you may have more than one suitor, and even if that’s not the case, your next date could be only a right swipe away. There’s nothing like a bit of rivalry to make you want something all the more, and when a guy’s competitive streak is sparked, he’ll try that much harder to win you over. And so he should. Form a line, gentlemen.
Tabitha is a freelance writer and editor who is currently trying and failing to achieve a tan in Queensland, Australia. When she's not traveling the world in search of the country with the best food (and hottest dudes), she is living the perfect hermit life and fostering her unhealthy addiction of "The Bold and the Beautiful."