A spiritual narcissist is someone who uses their spiritual beliefs to talk down to others and they walk around acting as though they’re superior to everyone else. Their behavior can overlap with traits of a classic narcissist or conversational narcissist, such as when they talk over you because they love the sound of their own voice. It’s difficult to be around them, but there are ways to cope. Here are 10 warning signs that you’re dealing with a spiritual narcissist and how to deal with them effectively so they don’t bring you down.
1. They Tell You What To Do.
When you’re talking to a spiritual narcissist about a problem you’re experiencing with a friend, they might interrupt you and tell you what to do. They don’t even ask if they can give you advice, because they believe what they’re going to tell you is exactly what you need. They’ll use this situation to try to turn you onto their religious or spiritual path. You can deal with this by telling them you know what to do and you’re choosing your own path.
2. They Mock You For Your Beliefs.
When the spiritual narcissist is in your home and sees your collection of crystals or yoga accessories, they might smirk and find ways to “tease” you about your spiritual choices. It’s not cool! Although they might pretend that they’re just kidding around, they’re secretly judging you. Make them stop by telling them you simply don’t agree with them. You don’t have to feel put-down.
3. They Question Your Dedication.
No matter how spiritual you are, they don’t think you’re giving your faith your all. They wonder whether you could be doing more and if you’re slacking a bit because they’re not. It’s really obnoxious and completely uncalled for. (BTW, if you keep coming across people like this in the dating world, you need to check out our sister site, Sweetn, ASAP. They have some great advice you need to hear.)
4. They One-Up Your Spirituality.
A narcissist is all about their ego, so they won’t tolerate someone else’s choices. They always have to believe that they’re right. It’s so tiring, really. When you talk about a spiritual incident that happened to you or a spiritual retreat you attended, they’ll quickly try to one-up with you stories of their spiritual journey. Insert eye roll. It’s so childish. Instead of fighting with them, try to be patient ’cause they clearly have low self-worth.
5. They Don’t See Your Views.
One of the biggest problems with spiritual narcissists is that they don’t want to open their minds to anyone else’s point of view. They can’t respect your choices, but instead have to argue with you about them as much as possible. It’s infuriating because you don’t want every conversation you have with them to become a heated debate about spirituality. A good way to divert the conversation is to say, “Hey, let’s chat about something else” or “I wanted to show you the flowers in the garden.”
6. They’re Hypocrites.
While a spiritual narcissist might tell you how much they dislike people who are fake or who judge them for their lifestyle choices and beliefs, they’ll turn around and do the same thing with others. SMH. They lack self-reflection and awareness of their actions, so it’s like they’re walking around in a bubble and being fake. Calmly try to get them to see their own hypocrisy, such as by asking questions like, “You dislike what Jane did, but didn’t you do a similar thing with Tom?”
7. They Try To Appear Superior To You.
If you feel “less than” around your spiritual narcissist friend, it’s not your imagination. They’ll try to show you that they’re superior to you, usually in subtle ways. For example, they’ll express disdain for people who share your beliefs. This could be a way for them to diss you while sitting next to you. Try flipping the script on them by asking if they feel anxious or insecure around such people. They might be surprised you’re getting to the root of their issue, but they probably won’t admit they even have an issue. Sigh.
8. They’re Fake Optimists.
Although spiritual narcissists are negative about everything and everyone who doesn’t meet their standards, they come off as super-positive and cheerful. This is linked to how they want to appear superior to you. They might even credit their spirituality as the reason why they’re always optimistic, meanwhile it’s a fake act for them to get attention and feel entitled. Instead of arguing, go along with it. Let them have their moment, or restrict time spent with them if their cheery attitude becomes OTT.
9. They Judge People.
They seem all happy and tolerant, meanwhile they’re always quick to judge others. If someone doesn’t share their spiritual or religious beliefs, they’ll shut them down or gossip about them. It’s so manipulative. The thing is, they see no error in their ways (everyone else is always wrong) because they think their spirituality makes them right. Eek. Avoid getting caught up in the goss by telling them you’d rather not speak about others behind their back, so you don’t feed their toxic need.
10. They Twist Their Beliefs To Suit Them.
If you’re friends with or dating a spiritual narcissist, you might notice that they tend to twist their beliefs when it’s convenient. If they stray from their beliefs or you catch them doing something they always preach is wrong, they’ll be quick to try to justify it, like by twisting religious texts. It’s so crazy. If this fails, they might do the next best thing: blame someone else for their actions! Smile and calmly tell them how they’ve misinterpreted the texts, so you can floor them with facts.
11. They Seek Deeper Spiritual Meanings.
A spiritual narcissist will try to find deeper spiritual meanings in the mundane, as a way of showing that they’re special and better than everyone else, especially people who don’t share in their beliefs. So, if they get three green traffic lights in a row, it’s because a higher power is supporting them. Or, if they bump into a friend at the supermarket, they’ll think it was divine intervention for them to try to convert them. It’s not worth stooping to their level by belittling them, so let them think what they want. Humor them!
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