For those of us with people-pleasing tendencies, a lot of our time and energy is spent trying to make other people happy. Not only is this exhausting and demoralizing, but it also pretty much guarantees that people will start to walk all over you once they realize that you’ll always bend to their will. It’s one thing to go out of your way for people you care about and completely enough to never stand up for yourself or your needs. Here’s how you know you fall into the latter category (and how to get out of it).
1. You Always Say “Yes.”
If you find it hard to say “no” even when it’s inconvenient for you, you might be letting people walk over you. To change this, practice setting boundaries. It’s okay to say “no” when you’re uncomfortable or busy, or even when you just don’t want to do something. Remember, it’s impossible to please everyone and it’s important to respect your own limits.
2. You Apologize A Lot.
If you’re always saying sorry, even when it’s not your fault, you might be allowing other people to blame you unfairly. Start by recognizing when an apology is necessary and when it’s not. Stand up for yourself when you’re blamed for something you didn’t do. Constantly apologizing when it’s unwarranted can undermine your self-esteem.
3. You Don’t Speak Up.
If you often suppress your opinions to avoid conflict, you may be letting other people dominate you. Begin voicing your thoughts and feelings respectfully. Your perspective is valuable and deserves to be heard. It’s not only about asserting yourself but also about contributing to a balanced discourse. (If this is something you particularly struggle with in romantic relationships, check out our sister site, Sweetn. They have the tips and tricks you need to totally change your love life for the better.)
4. You Feel Taken for Granted.
If you often feel unappreciated or taken for granted, it may be a sign that you’re letting other people take advantage of your kindness. Address this by communicating how you feel and asking for the respect you deserve. Mutual appreciation is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship and it’s crucial to ensure it’s present in yours.
5. You Rarely Prioritize Your Needs.
If you always prioritize other people’s needs over your own, you might be letting people walk over you. Start prioritizing self-care and make sure your needs are also being met. Taking care of yourself is not selfish, it’s necessary for your overall well-being and allows you take better care of the people you love.
6. You Allow Disrespectful Behavior.
If you tolerate disrespectful behavior from people, it’s a sign that you’re not standing your ground. Make it clear that you expect to be treated with respect and won’t tolerate anything less. No one deserves to be treated poorly, and standing up against disrespect is a crucial step in recognizing and asserting your worth.
7. You Often Feel Used.
If you often feel like people only reach out when they need something, it might be a sign that you’re being used. Address this by establishing balanced relationships where both parties contribute equally. If someone only contacts you when they need a favor, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship.
8. You Don’t Express Your Feelings.
If you frequently bottle up your feelings to keep the peace, you’re likely letting people walk all over you. Start expressing your feelings honestly and constructively. It’s important to let people know when their actions hurt you. Remember, your feelings are valid, and expressing them is a healthy practice.
9. You’re Always the One Compromising.
If you’re always the one making sacrifices or compromises, you might be letting people take advantage of your flexible nature. Strive for balanced relationships where compromises are made mutually. It’s not fair for you to always be the one giving in. A healthy relationship requires give-and-take from all parties involved.
10. You Often Feel Exhausted.
If you’re constantly feeling drained or stressed because you’re overextending yourself for other people, it’s time to reassess. Start by setting limits on your time and energy to ensure you’re not being spread too thin. Self-care is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. It’s okay to take time for yourself and ensure your own needs are being met.
11. You Always Feel Guilty For Some Reason.
If you feel guilty for standing up for yourself or saying ‘no’, it’s a sign that you’re letting people walk over you. Overcome this by recognizing that your feelings and needs are valid and you have every right to express them. You’re not being unreasonable by asserting your boundaries; standing up for yourself is a healthy and necessary practice.
12. You’re Terrified of Confrontation.
If you’re avoiding confrontations even when you’re treated unfairly, it’s a sign that you’re not standing your ground. Learn to address issues head-on in a respectful manner. Asserting yourself doesn’t mean being aggressive; it’s about expressing your needs confidently. Remember, facing conflicts head-on is part of maintaining healthy relationships.
13. You Don’t Feel Valued.
If you often feel like your efforts are not acknowledged or valued, it might be a sign that you’re being taken advantage of. Make sure you voice your need for recognition and seek relationships where your efforts are valued. Everyone wants to feel appreciated, and it’s okay to express this need.
14. You’re Overlooked A Lot.
If your needs and opinions are often overlooked, you’re probably letting people walk all over you. Stand up for yourself by asserting your opinions and making your needs known. Every voice matters, and yours is no exception. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.
15. Your Boundaries Are Ignored.
If people frequently ignore or disrespect your boundaries, it’s a clear sign that you’re being walked over. Reinforce your boundaries and make it clear that they must be respected. Boundaries are not just important for your well-being, but they also lay the groundwork for mutual respect in any relationship.
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