“Was There Something I Could Have Done?” & 9 Other Questions I Have For My Ex

“Was There Something I Could Have Done?” & 9 Other Questions I Have For My Ex ©iStock/portishead1

After a breakup, you’re bound to be left with a lot of lingering questions for your ex. Most of the time you need to accept that these questions may never be answered and that you’ll just have to move on anyway, but that doesn’t keep you from wanting to ask them anyway.

  1. Why did you really break up with me? I know you downplayed your initial reasoning to ‘spare’ my feelings, but what I really want (and need) is the truth, so lay it on me. What was wrong with our relationship? What made you unhappy? I want to know everything because I can’t handle living in the dark.
  2. Was there someone else? Maybe you cheated or maybe you stayed faithful ‘til the end. Either way, I need to know if someone else was a factor in your decision. Did you develop feelings for another girl that rocked me right out of this boat or did you come to the realization we were over all on your own? For peace of mind, I just need to know.
  3. How long did you know this wasn’t going to work out? This whole breakup is out of left field for me, but it obviously was a long time coming for you. So when did everything change for you? When did you stop believing in the forever we promised each other? When did you start thinking that you would be better off without me? How long was I a fool for believing in us when you didn’t?
  4. Did you ever really love me? You’re not treating me with a whole lot of love right now, so how do I know if our love was real? I need to know if I was living in some BS fantasy this whole time where I only thought you loved me, or if we had something real and our love just faded away. Both of those love stories are tragic, but in the end, I need to know which tragedy to mourn.
  5. Do you ever miss me? Life is pretty hard for me right now. I miss you every day, or at least I miss what I thought we had. You once had feelings for me too, so what I really want to know is how you’re feeling. It’s not that I want you to be miserable. It’s more that I want to know I meant something to you. While I’m sitting here heartbroken, are you mourning me too, or am I already forgotten?
  6. What was the beginning of the end? I didn’t see this coming, so what changed for you and when did it change? I want to know the exact minute things were different. What I really need is a timeline. Right now every memory is tainted, so tell me — at what point did you stop loving me?
  7. Is there still a chance for us? Is this a forever breakup or just for right now? Do you see any possibility of a future where we fix our problems and still end up together? You broke up with me, so does that mean you just don’t love me anymore or was love never our problem? Was our love just not enough to overcome our differences? Could it ever be enough, or is this really goodbye?
  8. What happened to the person you used to be? You’re so cold to me now, and you used to be my warmth in the world. You’re not the person I loved anymore. I don’t know who you are now, but I certainly don’t like the person you’ve become.
  9. How could you hurt me? You were supposed to be the one person who would never hurt me, but once again the world proved that no one is a safe haven. You shouldn’t hurt the people you love and you knew how much I loved you, but you broke my heart anyway.
  10. Was there something I could have done? I thought I was a really good girlfriend. I was honest, I was loyal and I loved you with everything I had. That still wasn’t enough. Was there anything I could have done differently, or was this just inevitable?
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.