We were classmates — he was just a guy I took English with and saw every day. He definitely wasn’t someone I found attractive, but then one day he walked into class late and something weird happened: I realized I was actually really into him after all. WTF was going on?
He had confidence.
There was something attractive in the way he carried himself that I had only just noticed that day. He looked sure of himself and comfortable in his skin. It caught my attention and made him so much more attractive than I’d previously thought.
He wasn’t my type physically.
I usually liked guys who were taller and thinner. This guy was definitely not my type, and yet there was just some X-factor about him that was quite alluring. Straying from guys who were my usual type was a great experience because it showed me there were other guys out there who might not check all my boxes but were intriguing nonetheless.
He was an amazing guy.
Yes, he had an aura, but his appeal was about so much more than that. He was really a great guy. He was intelligent, we could chat about anything for hours, he was funny as hell, and he was a really down-to-earth guy. I’d enjoyed his company for months, so this built my interest over time.
I fell — hard.
Once I felt that spark of attraction, he became good on paper and appealing in real life too. I had it bad! I went from being cool with seeing him whenever to wanting to spend more and more time with him. I’d get nervous around him even though previously I’d always been so chill. Ugh.
He taught me what’s really important in a partner.
Good looks really mean nothing. It’s really about the energy someone brings to the table and the personality they have. That’s what makes them a valuable partner.
His personality changed his looks.
It’s weird how the same guy didn’t interest me before, but once I got to know him, it’s like he completely changed physically. Obviously he didn’t and it was my perception of him that changed, but it’s similar to how a really hot guy can start to look ugly if he has a nasty personality. Beauty really is so much more than good looks.
It was refreshing to want someone who wasn’t attractive.
I’d previously prized good looks in a man, but this guy showed me that there’s so much more to look for. And let’s be honest — a lot of the really handsome guys out there are nothing but trouble and the attention they get can make them arrogant. It was interesting to get to know a guy who was different, who wasn’t relying on his good looks to sail through life.
Chemistry can build over time.
This experience taught me that sometimes chemistry can build. It doesn’t have to be there from the first time I meet someone. I’d gone from feeling no spark for this guy to feeling truckloads of it!
I broadened my horizons.
I opened up to a whole new world of guys who I hadn’t even considered before. I loved that this guy was shy at times and a bit geeky. I found these qualities so adorable. My friends didn’t really understand why I was so nuts about this guy — they thought he was cool but nothing too special — but I didn’t care.
I need a partner with substance.
Those same friends were out dating guys who loved to party and have fun, the guys who were popular and attractive. That had become so boring to me! This crush of mine made me see how desperately I need a partner who has substance and depth — someone who’s much more than just a pretty face. This guy had a lot of substance and it was sexy AF.
When he broke my heart, it hurt more than ever.
I eventually plucked up the courage to tell him how I felt about him but he didn’t feel the same. It really hurt me so much, more than rejection from any other gorgeous guy I’d been into before, probably because I liked him for real qualities. Good looks fade but timeless qualities like honesty, loyalty and a good heart last forever.
He changed me.
Another reason why it was so tough to move on was that he’d brought much more to my life than just making me feel attraction to a different kind of guy. Without realizing it, he’d changed what I wanted in a partner, what was really important to me in someone I chose to be with. This was huge and something that would stay with me forever! As time went on, I realized that even though I hadn’t had the opportunity to date him, I hadn’t really lost. I’d gained so much more that would enrich my future relationships.
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