10 Ways Being Too Humble Can Actually Hurt Your Self-Esteem

Generally speaking, humility is a positive trait. No one likes people who are full of themselves or who think they’re better than anyone else. However, there’s a difference between being humble and completely degrading yourself. If you play down your talents, abilities, and positive qualities too much, it could actually have a detrimental effect on your life in the following ways.

1. You Might Start Believing You’re Not Worthy of Praise.

When you’re always super humble, brushing off compliments or playing down your accomplishments, there’s a chance you might start to believe you’re genuinely not deserving of any praise. It’s like you’re programming your brain to think, “I’m really not that great.” This self-view can knock your confidence and self-esteem down a few pegs. It’s important to accept compliments graciously and allow yourself to feel good about your achievements. Recognizing your own worth doesn’t mean you’re arrogant; it’s about giving yourself the credit you deserve.

2. Avoiding the Spotlight Can Mean Missing Opportunities.

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Being too humble sometimes means you avoid the spotlight at all costs, even when it’s shining right on you for a good reason. You might shy away from opportunities to showcase your talents or step up in your career or personal life. This habit can lead to missed chances for growth and recognition. Over time, constantly dodging the spotlight can lead to regrets and a dent in your self-esteem, as you recognize the lost opportunities that could have propelled you forward. It’s okay to step into the spotlight when it’s your time to shine.

3. Over-Humility Can Make You Feel Invisible.

There’s humble, and then there’s so humble that you become invisible. If you’re always stepping back, letting others take the lead, and never voicing your thoughts, you might start feeling like you’re not being seen or heard. This invisibility can lead to a sense of insignificance, which is a big hit to your self-esteem. Everyone deserves to be recognized and heard. It’s important to find a balance where you can let your presence be known without feeling like you’re overshadowing others.

4. You Might Undersell Yourself in Important Situations.

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In critical situations like job interviews or important meetings, being too humble can mean you end up underselling yourself. You might gloss over your achievements or not speak confidently about your skills. This can lead to others undervaluing you, and worse, you might start to undervalue yourself. It’s crucial in these moments to speak confidently about your abilities and experiences. Selling yourself short not only affects opportunities but can also lead to a decrease in self-esteem as you fail to see and articulate your own value.

5. You’re Probably Not Giving Yourself Enough Credit.

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When you’re super humble, you might not give yourself enough credit for the cool stuff you’ve done. It’s like you brush off your achievements as no big deal. But here’s the thing – not recognizing your own awesome moments can make you feel like you’re not really achieving much. Celebrating your wins, big or small, is super important for keeping your self-esteem on point. So, next time you do something great, go ahead and give yourself a high-five. You’ve earned it.

6. You Have a Hard Time Accepting Help.

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If you’re always playing down your needs because you’re trying to be humble, you might find it tough to accept help when it’s offered. You might think you’re being a bother or that you should be able to handle everything on your own. But here’s the deal – everyone needs a hand sometimes. Not letting others help you out can leave you feeling isolated and overburdened. Plus, it’s a two-way street; just like you’re there for others, they want to be there for you too.

7. You Might Stop Standing Up for Yourself.

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Being too humble can sometimes mean you don’t stand up for yourself enough. You might let others take credit for your work or not speak up when something’s not right. It’s like you’re putting everyone else’s needs and opinions before your own. Standing up for yourself is super important – it shows you value yourself and your contributions. Remember, standing up for yourself doesn’t mean you’re not humble; it means you respect yourself.

8. You End Up Being Overlooked in Group Settings.

When you’re the super humble person in a group, you might end up being overlooked. If you’re always letting others take the lead or not sharing your ideas, people might start to think you don’t have much to contribute. But hey, your thoughts and opinions are just as important as anyone else’s. Speaking up more can help boost your confidence and make sure your voice is heard.

9. You Start Feeling Like You’re Not Moving Forward.

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If you’re always downplaying your accomplishments, you might start to feel like you’re not really moving forward in life. It’s like you’re running on a treadmill – lots of effort, but not much to show for it. Recognizing and celebrating your achievements, no matter how small, can give you a sense of progress and growth. It’s about acknowledging your journey and the steps you’re taking towards your goals.

10. You Start Struggling to Set Ambitious Goals.

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Being super humble can sometimes make it hard to set ambitious goals for yourself. You might think things like, “Oh, I couldn’t possibly do that” or “That’s just not for someone like me.” But why not you? Setting big goals and going after them is how you grow and achieve great things. Don’t let a humble mindset hold you back from dreaming big and chasing those dreams. Remember, you’re capable of more than you think.

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Phoebe Mertens is a writer, speaker, and strategist who has helped dozens of female-founded and led companies reach success in areas such a finance, tech, science, and fashion. Her keen eye for detail and her innovative approach to modern womanhood makes her one of the most sought-out in her industry, and there's nothing she loves more than to see these companies shine.

With an MBA from NYU's Stern School of Business and features in Forbes and Fast Company she Phoebe has proven she knows her stuff. While she doesn't use social media, she does have a private Instagram just to look at pictures of cats.
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