17 Ways The Power Shifts When You Finally See A Narcissist’s True Colors

17 Ways The Power Shifts When You Finally See A Narcissist’s True Colors

While nothing feels worse than dealing with a narcissist who does everything in their power to break you down and bend you to their will, nothing feels better than finally seeing them for who they are and no longer putting up with their BS. It’s incredibly freeing, especially because it shifts the power back to your side of the table in the following ways.

1. You Regain Your Self-Worth.

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Once you recognize the manipulative tactics of a narcissist, you begin to see that their negative remarks or attempts to belittle you are not a reflection of your worth. Understanding this can help you boost the self-esteem and confidence you lost because of them. You no longer allow their words to define you, which allows you to reclaim your power and self-worth.

2. You Break Free From Gaslighting.

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Narcissists often use gaslighting to make you question your perceptions and sanity. Once you see this manipulation for what it is, you can trust your judgment again. Your ability to recognize gaslighting means you don’t have to second-guess yourself, your experiences, or your memory. This realization can be the first step towards breaking free from their control.

3. You Set Boundaries.

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Recognizing a narcissist’s true colors allows you to draw a line in the sand when it comes to putting up with their toxicity. You no longer tolerate their disrespectful or harmful behavior. Establishing clear boundaries is a sign of self-respect and a powerful way to limit a narcissist’s influence over you. These boundaries can serve as a protective shield that put you back in the driver’s seat.

4. You Stop Seeking Their Approval.

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Narcissists love to withhold approval to keep you feeling desperate for their validation. Once you see this pattern, you no longer need their affirmation to feel good about yourself. Your self-worth no longer depends on their approval, which shifts the power back to you. You start validating your own accomplishments and progress, and it feels amazing.

5. You Begin to Heal.

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Seeing a narcissist’s true colors is the first step towards getting back on track and finding peace in your lfie. Acknowledging the harm they’ve caused allows you to seek help and start the healing process. As you heal, you regain your strength and reclaim your power. This healing can be a transformative journey towards self-discovery and empowerment.

6. You’re No Longer Scared of Conflict.

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Narcissists often use conflict to manipulate and control people. Once you see this behavior for what it is, you feel way less afraid of disagreements. Your fearlessness in the face of conflict reduces their power over you. By standing your ground, you demonstrate your strength and resilience, effectively shifting the power dynamics.

7. You Cultivate Strong Support Networks.

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Once you see a narcissist’s true colors, you can seek support from people who understand your experience. Building strong support networks can provide you with the strength and validation you need to reclaim your power. These people can help you navigate through the healing process and remind you that you’re not alone.

8. You Become Way More Aware of Red Flags.

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Recognizing a narcissist enables you to become aware of red flags in behaviors. This awareness can protect you from falling into a similar situation in the future. Your ability to spot warning signs empowers you to make better decisions about who you let into your life. It’ll save you a lot of time, energy, and heartache, that’s for sure.

9. You Choose Self-Care.

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When you finally see a narcissist for who they are, you can start to prioritize your mental and emotional health. Your choice to practice self-care is a powerful step towards regaining your power. By taking care of yourself, you strengthen your resilience and capacity to cope.

10. You Choose to Forgive — Not For Them, But For Yourself.

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Forgiveness doesn’t mean you condone their actions; it means you’re choosing to let go of the hold they have over your emotional state. That’s what makes it such a powerful act. This decision can free you from carrying the burden of resentment and anger. This way, you can truly let go and move on.

11. You Learn to Trust Your Gut.

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When you recognize a narcissist’s true nature, you may also realize that your initial instincts about them were correct. This can help you trust your intuition more in the future. Knowing that your gut never leads you astray can empower you to make more informed decisions and reduce the likelihood of being manipulated in the future.

12. You Develop High Emotional Intelligence.

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Dealing with a narcissist can be a catalyst for developing emotional intelligence. You learn to identify and manage not only your emotions but also understand the emotions and behaviors of others. This growth in emotional intelligence can empower you in all of your relationships.

13. You Refuse to Be a Narcissistic Supply.

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Narcissists feed off others’ energy, emotions, and attention, also known as narcissistic supply. Once you see their true colors, you can choose to no longer take on this role in their life. This decision can significantly shift the power dynamic, as you reclaim your energy and focus for yourself.

14. You Stop Justifying Their Behavior.

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Often, people in a relationship with a narcissist find themselves justifying the narcissist’s harmful behavior. When you recognize what they’re really all about, you can and do stop making excuses for them. This realization can help you regain power by acknowledging the reality of the situation.

15. You Advocate for Yourself.

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Once you recognize that someone is a narcissist, you become better at advocating for your needs and rights. Standing up for yourself is a powerful way to reclaim your power. Your voice matters, and using it to defend your worth and establish your boundaries can be extremely empowering.

16. You Realize Your Independence.

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Being entangled with a narcissist often results in you losing your identity and independence. Once you see through their manipulation, you can work towards reclaiming your independence. This autonomy can shift the power in your favor, reinforcing the fact that you are in control of your life.

17. You Learn and Grow.

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While tough, the experience of dealing with a narcissist can provide significant personal growth. You learn about your strengths, resilience, and the importance of self-respect. These lessons can empower you in future relationships and interactions, ensuring you maintain control and respect.

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Phoebe Mertens is a writer, speaker, and strategist who has helped dozens of female-founded and led companies reach success in areas such a finance, tech, science, and fashion. Her keen eye for detail and her innovative approach to modern womanhood makes her one of the most sought-out in her industry, and there's nothing she loves more than to see these companies shine.

With an MBA from NYU's Stern School of Business and features in Forbes and Fast Company she Phoebe has proven she knows her stuff. While she doesn't use social media, she does have a private Instagram just to look at pictures of cats.