What Do Guys Usually Talk About When Women Aren’t Around?

What do guys usually talk about when women aren’t around? We know they put on a particular persona when they’re around us, but when it’s just the guys, they’re free to let their real personalities show. Here are some topics that are likely to come up in their conversations.

  1. Sports, and a lot of them. I know that sounds like common knowledge, but we all underestimate just how much the sport consumes their lives. Lots of it stems from social pressure to express one’s masculinity through the consumption of sports in a public way to prove yourself. It comes in a lot of forms. They discuss the sports they play, the sports they watch, and the sports they spend money on watching in person. It becomes a full-fledged hobby, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Maybe it’s not the most well-rounded way to evolve as a human, but if it keeps them fit, entertained, and earnest, then why not? Honestly, it’s fun for the girls to get the run-down of which NFL team is in trouble this week, or which local baseball game is off because of excess rain on the field.
  2. They brag and complain bout you. On the surface level of things, guys will complain about their girlfriends to their friends as a way of being able to talk about them. They probably don’t even mean half of what they say, but it’s their innocuous way of bringing you up and reminding their friends that you remain central to them. Yes, it’s hard to express emotions in a vulnerable way when surrounded by your peers who are just as anxious as you, but it’s their roundabout way of asserting that they care about you. They also brag about you in little ways because they’re actually really proud to be with you.
  3. They talk about other women. Even though they’re in a relationship with you, that doesn’t keep them from noticing and talking about other women. Maybe it’s one of their co-workers or some girl at the bar or whatever. It’s annoying, yes, but it doesn’t mean anything. It’s just idle chit-chat.
  4. They love to gossip. While they might not talk about you all that extensively, they will further introduce you to the conversation indirectly by talking about your gossip. You know those gossip sessions you have with your boyfriend, discussing all the things that people told you in confidence that week? That you promised would never leave your lips. It’s that, lol. But, again, it’s their way of talking about you and your life and your interests. Plus, usually in the gossip that you’re telling you’re the victim or the bystander, so you tend to come across quite positively. If that’s any consolation.
  5. They talk about work. I mean, don’t well? This circles back to complaining. Guys do a lot of that, with or without us. It’s their way of expressing discontent or pride, albeit through the medium of a joking mentality. They’ll secretly be totting up information from their friends in return. An inefficient mode of catching up, but one that they use anyway.

What do guys usually talk about?

  1. They compare sex stories. It’s just inevitable. I can’t sit here and pretend they won’t. It’s not that women don’t, not by a long shot. In fact, I think women make much more of an occasion of their sex scandals with friends than men. However, men will probably be more crude and public about it. Women and men are alike in the desire to joke about but ultimately learn from cringy sex stories.
  2. They talk about the latest episode of Peaky Blinders. Tell me you’re a basic guy without saying the words. They all see themselves as the protagonist, Tommy himself. It’s them against the world, to them. For some reason, in the general entertainment review, this is the drama that they attach themselves to, now that Breaking Bad has gone off the air. Bless them, I guess. We all need a way of unleashing our dormant fantasies and our biggest ‘what if’ regret. If not through weekly therapy sessions, it might as well be through an internationally renowned BBC drama.
  3. They discuss their hopes and dreams and ambitions. Okay, maybe I’d say that these conversations happen when they’re blackout drunk and finally drag themselves up the kitchen counter to throw up in the sink and finally their deepest darkest ambition comes out. Nah. Give the pretentious ones a German wheat beer and some peanuts on a first date and they’ll tell you all about it unbidden.
  4. They talk about the stuff they’re into. There’s sports, yes, but guys are into all kinds of random stuff just like women, so they’ll talk about their various interests they have in common with the friend they’re with. For instance, if a guy is really into Dungeons & Dragons or online RPGs and he’s hanging out with a friend who’s into the same thing, they can discuss it for ages. Doesn’t everyone do this?
  5. They reminisce about the old times. Men may not admit to being nostalgic but they totally are. Guys love to talk about the old times and bring up hilarious stories from the past that they’ll never forget. It doesn’t matter if it happened a week ago or five years — if it was a memorable event in their lives, they’ll bring it up time and time again.
  6. They talk about each other. Guys love to rag on each other for fun. It’s never mean-spirited or vindictive, but when you’re close to someone like guys tend to be with each other, they feel comfortable talking crap about each other and making fun of each other when they do or say dumb stuff. It keeps them laughing, which is really what they’re all about.
Hannah has a Masters degree in Romantic and Victorian literature in Scotland and spends her spare time writing anything from essays to short fiction about the life and times of the frogs in her local pond! She loves musical theatre, football, anything with potatoes, and remains a firm believer that most of the problems in this world can be solved by dancing around the kitchen to ABBA. You can find her on Instagram at @_hannahvic.