What To Do When You’re So Sick Of Dating That You Just Can’t Even

You probably wish that you could just hand every new guy a cheat sheet that lists your favorite movies, foods, and “what you do for fun” so you didn’t have to keep repeating yourself on dates. After all, it gets to the point where guys and dates start to blend into together into one big, boring mass. So what do you do when you’re sick of dating and kinda want to quit altogether?

  1. Delete your online dating profile. Blind first dates are always the same. They’re awkward because you barely know anything about each other, and you usually just keep them simple so you can get in and get out as quickly as possible. Online dating starts to become more about quantity over quality, and that’s no way to find love.
  2. Ask someone you know to set you up. Someone you only know casually might not know exactly what your usual type is, so they’ll end up setting you up with someone who’s completely different from anyone you’ve ever dated before, which can be a nice change of pace.
  3. Swipe right on everyone. If you’re using Tinder, there’s no harm in just saying yes to everyone so you can talk to them before judging them. You might end up having a great conversation with someone you might not have if you were too focused on looks.
  4. Be more selective about who you go out with. Just because you’re talking to more people doesn’t mean you have to go on a date with all of them. Save the real dates for people you think you might actually have a connection with.
  5. No more coffee dates. There isn’t anything more boring than sitting in a coffee shop sipping a latte across from some guy you just met. Try something different like a new ice cream place, or a board game cafe. Anything but coffee. Literally anything.
  6. Have unconventional conversations. Instead of trading lists of favorites TV shows, bands, and pizza toppings, try to actually have a conversation. Tell each other stories, ask random questions, and comment on the things around you instead. At the very least, he’ll be unlikely to forget about you any time soon.
  7. Be more spontaneous. So you planned to get ice cream and take a walk through the park — that doesn’t mean you can’t decide half way through the date that you want to check out a local art gallery or stop in for some bar trivia. Don’t be afraid to suggest changing your plans— he’ll probably appreciate you taking the initiate to make the date fun and not leaving it all up to him.
  8. Don’t settle for less. Are you agreeing to first dates you don’t even really want to go on just so you have something to do on a Friday night? If you think about it, spending some quality time with yourself is actually more productive than going on a dead end date. You might have a dry spell or two, but you’ll survive.
  9. Go after what you want. A lot of women are guilty of expecting a guy to do all the work, and then getting frustrated when he doesn’t do what they want. If you’re looking for something specific, be honest. And make a first move every once in awhile. Even if it doesn’t work out perfectly, at least it will be a good story.
  10. Take a break. If you just can’t shake the feeling that you’ve been going out with the same guy on the same date over and over, maybe it’s time to take a hiatus from the dating scene. If you’re not even having fun anymore, and you’re not looking forward to going out with someone, it’s not worth your time.

Things to remember when you’re sick of dating

There’s a real Catch-22 in this whole dating thing — the more dates you go on, the less you want to keep dating and the less meeting a good guy seems possible. Still, that’s no reason to lose hope of finding love entirely. If you struggle to remember the point of dating, remember this.

  1. You will have a good date. When you go on a first date that’s super fun and magical, you don’t have to keep dating and trying to recreate that experience again. You can say, okay, this guy is cool and you want to see him again — it’s really that simple. You really just need one good date and you have a real shot at true love. Keep dating and keep waiting for that good date. It will absolutely happen.
  2. You may not like the journey, but the destination will be worth it. You may feel like dating is getting you nowhere, but you’re headed toward your ultimate destination whether you realize it or not. You’re one bad date closer to the right guy, and you know more about who you are and who you want to be with each passing day.
  3. You don’t need to know everything. Sometimes you want all the answers when it comes to your romantic future, but that’s just not going to happen. The exciting part is that you don’t know who you’re going to meet next. So embrace the future and keep up your positive attitude. It’s actually a good thing that you don’t have all the answers to your many questions just yet.
  4. You want a partner. It’s easy to get caught up in when a guy’s going to text you back and if he likes you or wonder if you’re even going to get any dates at all this month. Don’t focus on the daily dating frustrations so much that you forget the entire point — you want a partner to share your life with that. Keep your eye on the boyfriend prize and keep at it.
  5. You’re still learning. It’s pretty simplistic to think that you can just present yourself to the guys that you date as if you’re fully formed and have nothing else to work on. You may be pretty awesome, but you’re still learning, and that’s a good thing. Remember that the guys you date don’t have to have their entire lives lined up because you don’t either.
  6. You can be unsure. You’re still allowed to go on dates even if you’re not sure how long it’s going to take before you meet someone that you like. You can be unsure and no one’s going to stop you from going out and meeting people. Don’t let your uncertainty get in the way of the search.
  7. You don’t want to stop dating. You might think that you do, especially when you come home after an epic fail of a date and want to crawl into bed for the rest of time, but you really don’t. You know that when you do find love, it’ll be totally worth it. Remember that goal and forget all the BS in between. It’s not as important as it feels.
  8. You know more than you think. Sure, you might not have a crystal ball or any special powers. That doesn’t mean you’re totally clueless. You’ve been on more dates than you want to count, which is pretty helpful when you think about it. Learn from those awkward evenings and do your part to make your first dates the best they can be.
  9. You’re doing what you have to do. The next time you think that there’s no reason to keep dating, you should remember that you’re only doing what you have to. Going on dates isn’t unnecessary or silly, it’s a means to an end. You can’t just expect your perfect person to show up at your door. No matter how sick of dating you are, you gotta do it.
  10. You shouldn’t get so upset. Whether you meet guys online or IRL, you’re going to run into some total weirdos every once in a while. Because people are weird and that’s just life. Instead of getting so upset, shrug it off and remember that your person is still out there.
  11. Guys are in the same boat. It’s super easy to forget that guys hate dating as much as you do — and that they want a relationship as much as you do. Sure, not all of them are going to be normal or even polite, but you can handle that. Remember that there must be a guy out there that is fed up with the dating BS and wants to meet a cool girl. Hey, that just might be you.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, Complex.ca and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo