Not every date is going to be a winner. Someone who seems great on paper could turn out not to be such a solid match once you spend more time together, and there’s no shame in that. However, when you decide a certain person or situation isn’t for you, the courteous, mature thing to do is to tell them straight-up that you’re not feeling it. Going AWOL because you can’t be bothered with confrontation is a no-go and paints you in a pretty terrible light. Here’s what ghosting someone says about you.
- You’re rude and disrespectful. Is it uncomfortable to have to bluntly tell someone that you’re no longer interested in them romantically? Yes. Is it rude and disrespectful if you opt to just disappear from their life without a trace because you can’t be bothered to have that conversation? Of course. Ghosting someone says you’re completely disrespectful and lack manners.
- You don’t take dating seriously. If you did, you would know that ghosting someone is just not something you do if you’re actually looking to make a real connection. Ghosting says that you consider dating one big joke and that it’s no big deal if you flit in and out of people’s lives, hurting their feelings and destroying their trust. Frankly, you shouldn’t be dating at all.
- You don’t value people’s time. People are busy, which means if they’re taking time to date you, they’re likely consciously making space in their life for you. When you ghost them, you show them just how little you cared about their willingness to make room for you. Ghosting someone says you’re fine with wasting people’s time to suit your own whims, and that’s not cool.
- You lack empathy. When you’ve been dating someone you really like for a few months or even a few weeks, you start to get your hopes up. You think that maybe after so many bad dates, this one might actually pan out and you might have made a real connection. Then they disappear from your life without an explanation or even a goodbye and not only is it hurtful, but it can also be really damaging in terms of keeping their faith in love. Ghosting someone says you don’t really care about other people’s feelings, and that’s pretty terrible.
- You’re a coward. It takes courage to tell someone to their face that you don’t want to see them anymore. If you decide ghosting someone is the best option for ending things between you, that says you don’t just lack courage, you’re pretty much a coward. Even if the conversation is really awkward, it’ll be over in five minutes and then you never have to see them again. You really can’t inconvenience yourself for a few minutes? Yikes.
- You’re not ready for a relationship. This is one of the most obvious things ghosting someone says about you. To be in a relationship, you have to be able to communicate effectively, to consider the other person’s feelings, and to be honest with them even when it would be easier to lie. By choosing to ghost someone, you’re proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that you lack the emotional maturity needed to be a good partner. You’re better off staying single until you get your act together.