What Is A Platonic Crush And How Do You Know If You Have One?

Having a crush on someone is great, but things get a little bit confusing when you’re oddly obsessed with someone you don’t actually want to sleep with. They’re clearly pretty great, but you just don’t want to be with them like that. However, you do clearly really like them, so what’s the deal? Sounds like you have a platonic crush. Here’s what that means and why it happens.

What is a platonic crush?

A platonic crush, also known as a squish by some people, is a type of crush that is not romantic or sexual in nature. It’s a feeling of intense admiration, fondness, or attraction toward someone. However, there’s a marked absence of desire to pursue a romantic or sexual relationship with them. In other words, you want to be with them 24/7, you just don’t want to sleep with them or be in a committed relationship with them.

It’s worth noting that a platonic crush can occur towards anyone, including friends, acquaintances, or even strangers. Generally speaking, it’s often characterized by a desire to spend time with the person, to get to know them better, and to deepen the friendship.

Signs you have a platonic crush on someone

  1. You think about them often. If you find yourself thinking about the person frequently, daydreaming about spending time with them, or imagining different scenarios, it could be a sign of a platonic crush. Obviously, it’s only platonic if your fantasies are never sexual in nature. If you’re kissing them or more in these daydreams, that sounds like an actual crush.
  2. You feel happy around them. Spending time with them makes you feel happy, uplifted, and energized. That’s true even if it’s just casual conversation or hanging out. Sure, you like hanging out with your friends, but you’re extra hype to be with this person.
  3. You want to spend more time with them. You find yourself wanting to spend more time with the person, wanting to get to know them better, or wanting to hang out more often, it could be a sign of a platonic crush. While you usually get burnt out on too much social contact, you could be with them 24/7 and never get fed up.
  4. You admire them. You may feel a sense of admiration or respect for the person, whether it’s for their personality, skills, achievements, or other traits that you find admirable. They just seem really impressive and inspirational. They’ve done a lot with their life and you’re in awe.
  5. You feel nervous or anxious around them. When you have a platonic crush, you may feel a bit nervous or anxious when you’re around them, especially if you’re worried about making a good impression or saying the right things. You don’t want them to think you’re weird or silly or to stop wanting to hang out.
  6. You look forward to seeing them. You get excited at the prospect of seeing your platonic crush and spending time with them. Even if you just hung out the other day, you never turn down another chance. They always brighten your day, so you welcome the opportunity to chill together.
  7. You prioritize their needs. You may find yourself going out of your way to help them, support them, or make their day better. Your platonic crush isn’t a partner or family member, but you give them as much importance for reasons you can’t put your finger on.
  8. You want to impress them. You may feel the desire to impress them with your skills, knowledge, or achievements. You know they like you for who you are, but your platonic crush on them leads you to want them to think you’re as awesome as you think they are.
  9. You feel happy for them. You genuinely feel happy and excited when good things happen to them. Whether they get a promotion at work or hit a new fitness goal, you find yourself rooting for them. You’re their number one cheerleader.
  10. You are interested in their life. You ask them questions about their life, their interests, their goals, and their feelings. It’s not just surface-level conversation, either. You genuinely want to know more about them because they intrigue you. Yep, you have a platonic crush.
  11. You feel protective of them. You may feel protective of them, wanting to shield them from harm or difficult situations. You know they can take care of themself. However, you just have a gut reaction that makes you want to spring to their rescue.
  12. You feel a sense of closeness. You feel a sense of emotional closeness with your platonic crush that you can’t describe. It’s not really a casual friendship but it’s not a romantic connection either. Whatever’s going on here, you feel comfortable and at home with them.

Why might you get a non-romantic crush on someone?

happy friends embracing in street

provided by iStock

  1. You really love their personality. Maybe you’re drawn to your platonic crush’s personality traits, such as their kindness, humor, intelligence, or creativity. When someone seems like a bomb human being, it’s hard not to totally fall in love with them. Platonically.
  2. You have a lot in common. You might feel a strong connection with them because you share similar interests, hobbies, or passions. Whether you’re into the same bands or love independent cinema or you’re both really into Haruki Murakami novels or knitting, that draws two people together.
  3. You relate to and feel empathetic toward them. You might feel a strong sense of empathy towards them if they’ve been through similar experiences as you or if you share similar struggles. This is true especially if what you’ve been through is rare/not something most people can relate to.
  4. They inspire you. Maybe you developed a platonic crush on them because of their achievements, talents, or goals. They’re inspiring, and you feel motivated to learn more from them.
  5. You share the same values. It’s only natural to feel a sense of alignment with someone who shares similar values, beliefs, or worldviews as you do. It can sometimes feel impossible to find people who are on the same page as you about big things in life. When you find it, you want to hold tight to it.
  6. You have a ton of chemistry, albeit platonic. Maybe you feel a ton of natural chemistry or connection with this person, even if it’s not romantic or sexual in nature. If you got on like a house on fire from the minute you met, this is probably the root of your feelings.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia