What’s Your Dating Spirit Animal?

What’s Your Dating Spirit Animal?

By now, you’re likely familiar with the term “spirit animal,” at least in the abstract sense. Spirit animals are supposed to be animals that guide us, teach us about ourselves, and also have a distinct connection with our innermost soul. In dating, we all take on animal-like characteristics, which serve as indicators of our own unique dating spirit animals. Ever wonder which critter you tend to be like, or what animal fits your crush’s dating style? Here are some of the most common:

Cats

Cats never come on too strong, and at times might seem totally aloof to others. Wait around a bit, however, and if you’re worth it, they’ll soon want to be around you all the time. Cats love independence, and are dedicated to keeping their dignity and image intact at all times. They’re proud, but often quiet. Crowd them or make them look bad, and you’ll quickly see them run the other way. If you like a Cat, make sure to play hard to get, and to avoid chasing them.

The problem with Cats is that they tend to play hard to get to the point that the object of their affection tends to be totally unaware of any feelings the Cat has. The also tend to be commitment-averse, or scared of being hurt. As a result, many Cats will drag their feet pursuing love interests until it’s way too late. If you’re a cat, make more of an effort to be upfront about your feelings… and stop being afraid of love. Seriously, jump on it.

Best partners: Cats, Wolves, Spiders, and Mice

Worst partners: Dogs and Chimpanzees

Dogs

Dogs are the people who love everyone… physically, at least. While they can be very loyal (especially to friends), they tend to be very big on physical affection. To a point, they tend to love sex, and at times, may even make advances at inappropriate moments. Sex is big with these guys, and typically, their happy-go-lucky outlook on life means that they don’t come across as creeps. They don’t really have any turn-offs, aside from a negative outlook on life.

The problem with Dog people is that they often come on way too strong, especially sexually. Their focus on sex, cuddling, and attention can make them demanding lovers, and they tend to be prone to infidelity and sex addiction if things get out of control. If you’re a Dog person, tone the sex talk down a little, and try to pair yourself with someone of an equally high libido.  Also, Dogs who love flings would be wise not to lead on partners who want something more.

Best partners: Dogs, Mice, Chimpanzees

Worst partners: Cats, Wolves, and Spiders

Wolves

Wolves are passionate — extremely so. They’re forceful in bed, exceptionally protective of those that they love, and can also be loyal to a fault. Their number one concern is family, and they don’t respect or abide hook-up culture in the least. Dating a Wolf can mean that you’re going on the ride of your life, and typically, you can expect them to want to settle down sooner rather than later. Wild as they may be, if you can tame a Wolf, you have a partner who’ll have your back for life.

Unfortunately, Wolves tend to be very volatile in their emotions, and if this gets out of hand, it can lead to self-destructive behavior, high levels of risk-taking, impulsive behavior, or even abusive tendencies. This is often why many stereotypical “brooding bad boys” are Wolves. Passion can be hard to control with a Wolf personality, so if you want to date a Wolf, proceed with caution. If you’re a Wolf yourself, try to get things sorted out if you’re spiraling out of control and take a deep breath before you get too emotional. At times, therapy can help.

Best partners: Spiders and Chimpanzees

Worst partners: Wolves, Mice, Cats, and Dogs

Spiders

As unattractive and scary as spiders may be in real life, Spider people are often anything but. With Spiders, love is not usually at the forefront of their mind, but they still love a good date. Their goals are mostly career, business, or money-related, and nothing suits this better than being 1/2 of a power couple. They’re exceptionally smart, and often also have the charm, charisma, and tact to make their dreams come true. If you are having an argument, Spiders are the ones who’ll be able to talk things out with you and make a breakthrough happen. They are the ultimate diplomats, and are often highly communicative, even in bed. Spiders do have three major turn-offs: people who embarrass them, people who are lazy, and people who can’t respect their need for a career.

The problem with Spiders is that they often will demand a highly extravagant lifestyle. They also can be gold diggers at times, though not purposely so. Highly industrious Spiders also have a tendency of sacrificing family time for more career time, so make sure you’re capable of handling that.

Best partners: Spiders, Mice, Wolves, and Chimps

Worst partners: Dogs

Chimpanzees

Chimps are the natural comedians of the dating world, and their energy usually makes them the life of a party. It’s pretty certain that your most popular friend is likely a Chimp, since this spirit animal attracts people in swarms. Goofy, insanely charismatic, and some of the most magnetic people out there, Chimpanzees tend to be great dates. Everyone loves them, but if there’s one thing Chimps can’t stand, it’s Debbie Downers, with insecurity being a close second.

One issue many people have with dating Chimpanzees is that these folks tend to have a lot of opportunity to cheat. In fact, it’s almost certain that you’ll run into at least one of their admirers at least once in a while. Some Chimps also have a tendency of being players, especially if they’re younger. If you want to date a Chimpanzee, make sure that you have the confidence needed to handle their popularity, because it can easily make you feel insecure and unloved. Similarly, you should also keep an eye out for infidelity. If you’re a Chimp, don’t cheat, and try to set boundaries with admirers. Otherwise, drama will likely ensue.

Best partners: Wolves, Spiders, Chimps and Dogs

Worst partners: Mice, Cats

Mice

Mice are the quiet, super caring people that everyone seems to run to when sh*t hits the fan. These bookish introverts are extremely loyal, and make for excellent friends. Surprisingly passionate lovers, Mice have little problem giving the world to their significant others. Shockingly, quite a few Mice are into hookups and flings once in a while. However, when they’re in a relationship, they almost immediately turn into a perfect housewife or into husband material. Mice can’t stand bullies, nor can they stand people who hurt others. They are the ultimate pacifists in nature, and are amazing at nurturing people.

The problem with Mice is that they  tend to be “bleeding hearts,” and they can get taken advantage of by those who don’t have good intentions due to their naivete. They also can be so quiet that others won’t notice them, and they may even have social anxiety. This bad combo often leads to heartbreak, and many of them have insecurities or shyness issues as a result of their bad past experiences. If you want to date a Mouse, be kind to them, and don’t bully or browbeat them into doing or giving things. If you are a Mouse, you may want to work on being more assertive.

Best partners: Mice, Spiders, and Cats

Worst partners: Wolves, Chimps, and Dogs

Turtles

Turtles are painfully shy, even more so than Mice. They’re so shy that they rarely, if ever, express their feelings or interest to others. Though they’re very loyal, kind, and passionate partners, they very rarely get the attention that they deserve because they’re usually either socially awkward or just downright panicky in social situations. It’s a shame, since they can make some of the best dates out there, if only they’d get out of their shell! It’s also worth noting that many Turtle people come from religious backgrounds, and may carry those beliefs into the dating world.

Turtles’ shyness is an issue that’s compounded by their sensitivity. Many of them will subtly hint at their desires, only to be sent back reeling when they’re rejected. Because of this, they often have Nice Guy Syndrome, use guilt to get their way, or just turn to be very bitter and hateful towards the opposite sex. If you’re a Turtle, make sure you get out of your shell and see that the world isn’t out to hurt you. If you’re interested in a Turtle, make sure that you approach them with care.

Best partners: Mice, Chimpanzees

Worst partners: Cats, Wolves

Peacocks

Peacocks are the ultimate “glamour” daters, and they tend to be the ones who’ll put looks over money any time of the week. When you’re dating a peacock, you never have to worry about looking bad. In fact, their great looks and ability to get into the upper echelon of any social scene makes them highly attractive, and sexually irresistable. Unlike Chimps, who gain popularity by being jokesters and goofballs, Peacocks tend to win people over with their innate “cool kid” vibes and their access to the hottest parties in town. They’re extremely prideful, and will strut around like they own any room they enter. Peacocks love looking amazing, and simply won’t tolerate a sloppily dressed or socially awkward partner. Their ideal romantic situation will be one in which they’re part of a power couple.

Unfortunately, Peacocks have a strong tendency to be pretty shallow. They may even view you as a conquest or a status symbol they’ll later namedrop. This trait can lead them to dump partners if their partners gain weight or lose hair, and it can also lead to infidelity. They also tend to be very kinky, often to the point that it may make others uncomfortable. If you’re a Peacock, try to see past a person’s status and packaging, and make an effort to connect to people. If you’re interested in a Peacock, wearing designer clothes, dolling yourself up, and making friends in high places will go very far.

Best partners: Spiders, Cats, Chimpanzees, and Dogs

Worst partners: Wolves, Mice, and Turtles

Bears

Bears are the ultimate homebody, often eschewing going out for a date in exchange for a nice meal at home. While Bears are typically the strong, silent type, they do offer a lot of personality, and typically have a sick sense of humor when they open up more. They’re often cuddly, but don’t underestimate them. Bears are notoriously protective of their loved ones, as well as the people their loved ones care about. If  someone is stupid enough to hurt the loved ones of a Bear, they can almost certainly expect serious acts of revenge in the near future. Much like Wolves, Bears are extremely family-oriented. Unlike Wolves, Bears are generally easygoing unless disturbed. Bears will melt into putty if they’re given a good meal, a back rub, and a family to care for. Turn-offs include unnecessarily violent behavior, or anything that could disturb their routine.

As awesome as Bears are, they do have issues that can make them difficult to deal with. When angered, it’s very difficult to get them to calm down, and they can hold a grudge pretty badly.  If a Bear breaks up with you or casts you out of their social circle, that’s it. You are DONE, and there’s no turning back. They also tend to be very lazy, so they may end up being bad housekeepers or providers. Bears also tend to be lax with their workout schedules, which can mean they may pack on the pounds. If you’re a Bear, you may want to start a diet and look at your career seriously. If you want a Bear, just cook him/her a meal!

Best partners: Mice, Turtles, and Wolves

Worst partners: Peacocks, Spiders

Rabbits

Oh, Rabbits! They’re the ultimate snugglebunnies. Cute, endearing, and often likely to put their lover on a pedestal, Rabbits are all about showing affection to the one they love. As some of the biggest fans of PDA, Rabbits can never get enough sex. Though they can be timid, shy, and quiet initially, but these quiet intellectuals quickly will turn into hyper-affectionate fluffballs as soon as they decide they like you. They’re highly intellectual, and also pretty emotional. Their turn-ons include displays of affection, confidence, and anything that involves physical sensation. Insecurity, aggression, and being overly loud are their biggest turn-offs.

There are two main issues with Rabbits: they can be touchy-feely to a fault, and if they get over their timidity, they typically come on way too strong. Needless to say, many may find them to be a bit too clingy, needy, or forward in their advances. Similarly, Rabbit people tend to suffer from anxiety, and can get very insecure if turned down one to many times. Rabbits can need a lot of reassurance, and that can be difficult for many to deal with. Be good to these bunnies! They are really, truly sweet people!

Best partners: Dogs, Chimpanzees, Bears

Worst partners: Wolves, Turtles and Cats

Ossiana Tepfenhart works as an editor to FunNewJersey's magazine, and has been working with a massive series of lifestyle sites including Woman Around Town and Guff.com