We’re all guilty of giving terrible relationship advice. I don’t care if you think you’re Patti Stanger, only younger and without all of that plastic surgery. Even with the hours spent logging Millionaire Matchmaker marathons to prove you’re equipped to dispense romantic advice, at some point in the not-so-distant past, you’ve told a friend something about a dude to placate her instead of telling the truth, and she’s done the same to you. It isn’t mean spirited, it’s just that most relationship advice is based more on what you’ve been through than your friend’s current situation. It’s a combination of all the dudes in your life and what your friend says to you about her guy, instead of being about her actual experiences, which means that when it’s time for you to ask the hard hitting questions, you have to carefully consider who you should talk to.
- Your brunch buddies.Asking for relationship advice is tough, especially when you have a hard time actually telling your friends what’s going on with a new guy. After all, you don’t want to be that one cheesy friend who waxes poetic about her new dude and thinks she’s like a Disney princess, when the reality is that she’s more like a Real Housewife. Obviously boys are the best brunch discussion topic, but sometimes you want to keep your new boo private until you figure out what’s actually happening.
- Your one friend who always tells it like it is. Even though it sounds like Sex and the City, the reality is that every crew has a Samantha/Miranda hybrid that’s easy to talk to you when you need help deciphering a text. While the truth bombs she drops are most similar to He’s Just Not That Into You, it’s far superior to waiting for a text that’s never going to come.
- Your one friend who always makes you feel better. Depending on your mental state, you might be more interested in someone telling you that he’ll definitely call than learning the cold, hard truth. Whether she tells you to send that midnight text you’re deliberating over or convinces you that he’s probably not over his ex yet and that’s why you haven’t heard from him, she’s 100% likely to make you feel like everything’s going to be okay (even if it isn’t). We all need that friend, but that doesn’t mean that what she says comes from a real place.
- Your bitter bestie. Maybe she had a particularly gruesome break up, or maybe she’s been in a relationship for so long she forgot what dating’s actually like in the real world. Whatever it is, it means that her relationship advice makes you wonder if you should just throw in the towel completely. Seeking out your friend who tells the truth is better than spending time with this girl, because you’ll just end up even more depressed than you started.
- Your well meaning, but often wrong, family.While your mom gives great r-ship advice because she’s been through everything herself a thousand times over, the fact that she’s waiting for grandbabies means that she may be a little more forgiving than you’d like. While you’re obviously not going to start asking your great-aunt for input anytime soon, if you have brothers they might be more useful than you give them credit for.
- Your roommate(s). Your roommate is the one human who actually sees who you go out with consistently. Whether that’s no one at all and she’s decided it’s time for you to lower your standards, or you keep parading a collection of douchebags through the door, she knows you best (it’s unclear whether or not that’s a good thing).
- Your exes (the ones you don’t actually hate). In an ideal world, you’d be able to maintain friendships with your ex-boyfriends. In the real world, it’s hard to grab happy hour drinks with someone you used to bone, especially since there’s not much of a difference between your relationship then and now (minus the sex part). If you do manage to maintain some kind of semblance of a relationship, they do know you better than anyone when it comes to the bedroom — which means they can advise you accordingly.
- Your guy friends. Guy friends were basically made to do everything your best friends can’t, like tell you what your new guy’s really thinking. Sure, it means that sometimes you’re privy to the most disgusting comments you’ve ever heard in your entire life, but it pays off in the end. There are only so many times you and your girls can go over the same text without going crazy, and that’s where they come in.
- Your best friend’s boyfriend. He can be a good resource because he’s in a relationship, you’ve known him for years, and he won’t turn it around and get creepy with you. At the same time, he’s probably not quite as interested in hearing about your boy troubles as you are in telling him.