If you date men, there’s a good chance at least one of them has asked you to send them a naked picture of yourself. It’s pretty much expected by now, even if it is a bit annoying. While it might seem like we’re all perverts who want to get off to images of you, that’s not always the case (though it’s probably part of it). Here’s why guys ask for nudes instead of settling for the real thing.
How common are nudes?
As obnoxious as it is when guys ask for nudes, they’re actually incredibly popular. A survey by OnePoll in partnership with Avast Photo Vault found that a third of Americans have sent a nude at one point, with 73% admitting to doing so at least once a month. That’s pretty common!
“It can be a healthy expression between you and your partner!” says certified sexologist and intimacy expert San Boodram, per New York Post. “Here’s some advice. Before even considering sending these photos, establish a code of trust with the person you’re sharing them with. Have an open conversation to ensure privacy on both parties’ end. Be aware of the ways to share and send photos safely.”
However, even if you feel confident you can trust the recipient, you should never feel pressured to send nudes at any point.
Why do people send them?
There are a variety of reasons why people send nudes, including but not limited to the following.
- They’re in a long-distance relationship and want to feel close to their partner.
- They feel attractive or sexy and want to share it.
- They’re trying to set the mood for an upcoming in-person experience.
- Their partner or person they’re dating specifically asks for one.
- They just feel like it.
Why do guys ask for nudes?
- We’re visual creatures. This is no secret. We like looking at things, especially when we consider them to be beautiful. When a guy asks you for nudes, it’s because he likes how you look and wants to see more. Trying to imagine what you look like isn’t good enough. He wants to be able to see the real thing, even if it’s just a picture and even if he’s seen the real thing before and will again in the future.
- He’s in the mood. I think you know what I mean by being “in the mood,” right? As I said, men are visual creatures, so when we’re horny, we want something to look at to get us excited. Receiving a nude picture is just the kind of thing that can get us excited, which is why we might ask you to send us one.
- We want to know if you’ll do it. To some extent, guys are just curious to see if a woman will actually send them a nude photo if they ask. One way or another, it says a lot about a person whether they want to go around with such a request. It can tell us if you’re free-spirited and adventurous. It can tell us if you’re comfortable enough with your body to take that picture and send it to someone. To be honest, guys don’t always expect a positive reaction when they make this request, but it does tell us a little more about you.
- We want to remember what you look like. It’s no coincidence that we keep coming back to the fact that men are visual creatures. If a guy has already slept with you, it doesn’t mean he has an image of you implanted into his brain. But if he has a picture of you without clothes on, it’ll jog his memory. Having that picture will make it easier for him to remember what it was like sleeping with you, which is something he’ll want to remember. That might sound weird, but try to think of it as a compliment.
- It’s risque. Obviously, it’s a little more common nowadays to send sexy pictures to people. But it’s still something that feels a little naughty and risque. That part of it can feel exciting, which makes the whole process that much more enjoyable, on top of receiving the picture itself.
More reasons guys ask for nudes
- We want to brag to our friends. Spoiler alert, not all guys are good guys. Even less shocking, not all guys have the best of intentions when they ask you for nudes. If a guy has slept with you, he might use a nude photo as proof of his sexual conquests. It’s also possible he’ll show that photo to his friends when he brags about sleeping with you. I’m not saying I condone such behavior, but it is something that men have been known to do.
- Other girls have done it. In a way, nude photos are like Pringles; once you start, you can’t stop. If other girls have sent a guy nudes in the past, he’ll be more likely to ask other girls for them. He might think that if one girl did it, others will too, which is why he’ll ask. He might think of asking as for one as adding to his collection. That might sound crass, but it sometimes only takes one woman sending a nude to a guy to make him think that others will do it too.
- We want to see if you trust us. Asking for a nude photo doesn’t seem like a relationship test, but it can be. Most women won’t send a picture like that to a guy if they don’t like him and trust him not to share it with other people. In that sense, guys will ask for nudes as a way to test a woman. Does she like me enough to do this? Does she trust me with something this personal? As I said, how you respond to a nude photo request does tell a guy a lot about you.
- It opens the door for something more. Let’s not pretend that sending a nude can’t lead to something more. In some cases, that’s what a guy is getting at. Obviously, receiving a picture can put a guy in the mood for something more, but some guys think that it can have the same effect on women. Perhaps the picture will get her feeling sexy and good about herself, which will make her want to see him and hook up with him. I’m not saying it works a lot, but some guys do think along those lines.
- We want a way to remember you. Not to sound like a pessimist, but not all relationships are going to last forever. Some guys look at nudes as a parting gift that they can keep after the relationship ends. He obviously liked you at one point in time, at least enough to ask you for a nude. In this sense, a nude photo is just a way to remember you so he can look back fondly at the relationship.
Whatever reasons guys have for asking for nudes, it’s ultimately up to you to decide whether you send one. You don’t owe anyone anything, ever. Do what feels right for you and make sure you feel empowered. Nudes can be great when shared with someone you trust. However, not everyone feels comfortable with the idea, and that’s okay.