You spend days, weeks, even months talking to a guy, getting to know each other, and dreaming about what could be. Then out of the blue, he starts ignoring your messages or taking a lifetime to respond. Very few things feel more confusing, annoying, and insulting than that. But before you ditch him forever or send another text into the silent void, consider the reason why he could be behaving this way.
- There’s someone else in the picture. If his texts are getting shorter with you, they’re probably getting longer with another woman. Maybe he met someone else that he finds more interesting than you or things are finally getting serious with the girl he’s been holding out for so he’s not really thinking about you right now. If you think this is the case, you can either confront him about it, walk away, or sit back and let things play themselves out.
- He’s just not that into you. A lot of men can be terribly unkind when they don’t like or stop caring about you. Rather than be honest about their feelings, they’d choose the ice cold, mean boy route. They’ll simply stop texting you first. Eventually, they’ll ramp things up and stop responding to your texts completely or only text back when they want to hook up.
- You’re doing too much, too soon. Were you sending him too many messages filled with long paragraphs even before he’s had a chance to respond to your previous text? Were you already talking about kids and settling down when you’ve only been on a few dates? Are you constantly texting to make plans, find out what he’s up to, or where he is? If you’re coming on too strong, that might be the reason he’s ignoring you.
- He’s trying to punish you for not letting him have his way. An immature, manipulative guy will ignore your texts to send a message that he could walk away at any time. He just wants to humble you and show you who’s boss. Every time you do something he doesn’t like, he’ll cut you off to give you that bitter taste of rejection rather than exploring healthy means of communication.
- Commitment terrifies him. If you’re at the point where the relationship is getting serious and he’s not quite ready for that, he might respond by ignoring your texts. It’s not that he doesn’t care for you, he’s just scared and doing what he can to slow things down. So you might want to avoid going too fast and try to understand why he’s not in a hurry to embrace labels or take that next step.
- He’s trying to ghost you. Some guys hate confrontation. They don’t have the courage to tell you that they’d like to end things. So instead, they’d stab you quietly in the back because they think radio silence and disappearance won’t hurt you as much. They’re hoping that if they ignore your texts for long enough, you’ll finally get the message and stop blowing up their phone.
- There’s a lot on his plate right now. Maybe work is really hectic or he’s dealing with some personal stuff. Maybe he really likes you and he’s not trying to ignore you, but he’s just too busy to get into a texting conversation. In such a case, he’ll eventually get back to you with an explanation and apology in a couple of hours or days when he’s had time to catch his breath.
- His texting habits suck. Some people just don’t know how to text for fun. They prefer phone calls or talking in person. They might try to text you back often because they know it’s what you want, but their nature might get the better part of them sometimes. So they’ll slip up and ignore your texts. So if you really like this guy and texting seems to be where he falls short, you might want to cut him some slack and give him time to work on it.
- He’s playing mind games. Maybe he’s the kind of guy who thinks men should have most of the power in the relationship so he’ll only text you when he wants. He might think ignoring your texts will make you want him more or think he’s some busy genius guy that’s hard to get. Maybe the only reason he ever texted back on time and acted like a great guy, was just so he could get you into bed. And now that he’s done that, he’s showing you his real colors.
