12 Ways Women Come On Too Strong, According To Guys

For the most part, guys appreciate when you ladies make the first move or let us know that you’re really into us. That being said, there are times when you come on too strong and unknowingly turn us off in the process. There’s a fine line between showing you’re interested and seeming super desperate and kind of obsessive. If you don’t want us to write you off as a bit of a weirdo, avoid doing these things.

1. Over-texting

This is a common problem that many women tend to have early in a relationship. You need to understand that most men don’t love texting quite as much as you do. Sending too many texts, especially when you text without a clear purpose, is going to scare a guy away fast. We don’t always have time to be texting with you non-stop and it makes us think you’re overzealous about where the relationship is heading.

2. Coming over unannounced

Surely you know this is a mistake, right? It’s not that we aren’t happy to see you, but if you pop in out of nowhere, it really throws us off. Remember, most men are creatures of habit, so an unannounced visit is a good way to get us all out of sorts and scare us off. It also makes you seem just a little bit nuts.

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4. Having the relationship talk too soon

Can we wait for more than a few dates to talk about where this is going? Is that too much to ask? Trying to talk about commitment too soon is one of the best examples of how you ladies come on too strong. When you think that it’s time to have the relationship talk, it’s a good day to then wait another month, maybe two before bringing up the subject. That’s usually a safe way to avoid coming on too strong.

5. Insisting on hanging out every day

Look, if we’re hanging out with you, it means we like you and enjoy spending time with you. But that doesn’t mean we have to go out of our way to hang out every day. Remember, guys have a life and a schedule to maintain that may not involve you. We can’t rearrange everything because you want to just hang out every single day of the week. That kind of behavior tends to frighten us and makes us think that things are getting too serious too quickly. We like you, we just need you to ease back a little bit.

6. Making too many innuendos

Okay, making one or two suggestive comments can be fun and a good way to let us know that you may be interested in getting physical later, but only speaking to a guy in innuendos will get a little creepy after a while. Eventually, it’ll freak us out enough that we’ll just want to get away from you.

7. Following us around

If we’re together at a party or any kind of social situation, don’t feel like we need to be two inches apart all night. Just because we’re dating doesn’t mean we have to be Siamese twins. You’ll either come off as super needy or super possessive, neither of which is a good thing. Relax—we’re happy to be out with you and we’ll eventually find our way back to each other even if we get separated for a while. Walking hand in hand all night is probably way too much too soon.

8. Pretending you love all of our interests

We know that you want us to have things in common and to impress us by saying that you love something that we also love, but if it’s not true, don’t say it. We can usually tell if you’re faking an interest because you think it’ll make us like you. This is definitely coming on too strong because it seems like you’re trying too hard to force something that may not be there. Don’t do this.

9. Only talking about yourself

Yes, we’re interested in getting to know you, but we don’t have to learn everything about you on the first date. Sharing every detail of yourself is like trying to fast-forward the relationship, which is definitely a way to come on too strong. Why don’t we just try to slow things down a little?

10. Liking every social media post

Obviously, looking at someone’s social media profiles is a good way to learn more about them, but that doesn’t mean you just go up and down their profile liking everything. It’s a little bit nuts and a little bit possessive, especially if it happens early in the relationship. Just the amount of time it takes to do that is coming on a little too strong. You definitely don’t want to go back and like stuff from before you two met. That will send a guy running.

11. Contacting our parents without approval

There will come a day when we feel it’s appropriate to introduce you to our friends and family, but just be patient. Pushing the issue when it comes to meeting our parents is too much. You definitely don’t want to friend our mother on Facebook or steal our phone so you can get our mom’s phone number. That stuff gets you a one-way ticket to Nuts Town.

12. “Accidental” encounters

Unless we have plans to see each other, don’t try to orchestrate an “accidental” bump-in out in the world. This screams of someone who is trying a little too hard. It’s also a little creepy. You may play it off as a lucky coincidence, but we can usually tell when you went someone just hoping to run into us, and it’s rarely viewed as a positive.

13. Listing everything you like about us

We want you to be into us, but that doesn’t mean spending a date or phone conversation rattling off everything about us that you like. You may think it’s nice, and to some extent it is, but it’s also a sign that you’re trying too hard to convince us of how much you like us. Quite frankly, most guys don’t even think highly enough of themselves to list off all of their positive attributes like that. You probably shouldn’t do it either.

Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.