You know what they say: jealousy makes you nasty. But it actually does a lot more than that. It can wreck relationships, cause you unnecessary stress, and drain your overall well-being. It’s time to get rid of jealousy once and for all! Here are 15 reasons why being green with envy isn’t a good look for you.
1. Jealousy makes you possessive.
If you don’t deal with jealousy in your relationships, it could spiral into bigger issues such as possessiveness. For example, if you’re jealous of your partner’s friendship with their co-worker, you might start monitoring their behavior or checking up on them. This can make your partner feel controlled and manipulated while destroying trust in your relationship. To prevent this from happening, communicate what you’re feeling to your partner so you can get to the bottom of it.
2. Jealousy makes you feel like you’re not worthy.
Jealousy and competitiveness go hand in hand. When you feel jealous, it can spark an intense need to win to the point where it becomes obsessive. You see other people winning in life and you feel like your path pales in comparison, then you try to one-up them, rinse, and repeat. But that’s just deep insecurity talking—it’s worth stopping and counting your blessings because jealousy blinds you from what you have going for you.
3. Jealousy makes you negative.
Yup, jealousy makes you nasty! If you feel put out because someone else is achieving what you want, it can cause you to feel down about yourself. What’s worse, is that it could even make you belittle others—and that only gives you a bad reputation as a gossip or Negative Nellie. Put that energy into yourself! Jealousy can sometimes be a wake-up call, alerting you to what you want out of your life—don’t waste your time thinking about others.
4. Jealousy kills trust in relationships.
If you’re constantly feeling jealous of your partner’s relationships, like the platonic one with their ex-roommate, you’re going to push them away. Being so set on the idea that they may hurt you, leaves no room for your partner to get you to trust them. That’s the real issue here, trust. Unless you have good reason to be jealous, you need to nip it in the bud by digging deeper into your issues so you can figure out why you’re feeling triggered. Therapy can also help you to suss things out.
5. Jealousy blocks your personal growth.
The thing about jealousy is it makes you compare yourself to others instead of focusing on how you can improve and grow in your life. Sure, it can be a distraction from your issues, but the result? You’re left feeling stuck, lacking the confidence and self-worth to achieve what you want. Take time away from people or social media accounts that cause you to suffer from comparisonitis. It’s wasted energy that gets you nowhere.
6. Jealousy causes loneliness.
If you’re always jealous of other people in your life, they might feel like you’re not supporting them or selfishly only thinking about yourself. This could cause them to walk away and you could end up isolated and alone. That’s why you have to try to work through your jealous feelings. Start keeping track of what triggers your jealousy and open up to a trusted loved one about your issues so you can gain some perspective on your feelings.
7. Jealousy hurts your body.
When you feel overwhelmed by jealousy, you might clench your teeth or feel your heart rate increase. Maybe your body stiffens and you get horrible headaches from the spike in stress. However it manifests, jealousy hurts your health, and it’s not worth it. If you’re in a situation that’s making you seethe, take yourself out of it for a few minutes. Take a few deep breaths, do a grounding exercise, or engage in an activity that will flip your mood so you eliminate those uncomfortable sensations.
8. Jealousy causes unnecessary drama.
If you want to intensify your relationship issues with a huge spoonful of drama, throw in some jealousy. You might find that when you’re jealous you fight with your partner more or engage in stonewalling behavior because you’re in a spiral. Jealousy has that effect—it clouds your judgment because it’s not based on logic or rational thinking. So, if you’re feeling jealous, take a step back and try to sort through your thoughts before engaging in a discussion with your partner.
9. Jealousy makes you a copycat.
When you’re jealous of someone’s accomplishments or sense of style, you might find yourself trying to mimic them. While this might soothe your feelings for a while, it’s a disservice to you—you should be focusing on achieving your specific goals or finding your creative style. You were born to be a masterpiece, not a photocopy. So, when you want to mimic someone else, take it as an opportunity to think about the person you want to be and how you can achieve that in your own unique way.
10. Jealousy makes you cynical.
If you’re feeling jealous of your best friend because she just started dating an amazing person and you can’t get a decent date, you may feel like throwing a sarcastic comment her way instead of being celebratory. But, all this does is make you come across as bitter and selfish. Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. How would you feel if they didn’t support you during your times of success?
11. Jealousy shuts down communication.
When you feel jealous in your relationship, you might also feel uncomfortable or afraid to express it, perhaps out of fear of conflict or rejection. All that does is make you bottle up your feelings and shut down instead of what you should be doing: engaging with your partner. It might be worth it to call in an unbiased third party, like a mental health professional, who can help guide you through these sometimes hard conversations.
12. Jealousy causes mental health problems.
When you feel jealous, it can stress you out—after all, you don’t want your insecurities to get the better of you! Over time, this can compound and lead to anxiety, panic attacks, or even depression. Start keeping a jealousy journal in which you can write down your feelings. When you get them out of your body, it’ll make you feel like you can better understand and banish them.
13. Jealousy makes you give your power away.
You see your friend’s shiny new car or house and you feel like you’re not as blessed as they are, or that you never will be. This is an example of the scarcity mindset, which causes you to feel like what you want isn’t available to you. Replace that mentality with ideas of abundance! There’s enough good stuff in the universe to go around for everyone—instead of seeing your friend’s achievements as a sun shining so brightly that it dims your light, view it as inspiration to make your light—and life—brighter. This puts a positive spin on the feeling, using the energy it creates in a constructive way.
14. Jealousy makes you dislike yourself.
One of the saddest things about jealousy is that it zaps your confidence and self-love. By focusing on why or how others are better than you, it prevents you from seeing your beauty and positive traits. A good strategy to deal with this is to try some self-love practices to bring you back to you. Go for walks in nature to bolster your health, set regular pampering time, and spend time alone so you can sit with your thoughts, feelings, and intuitive emotions.
15. Jealousy makes you a stage-five clinger.
If you’re always feeling jealous in your relationship, it can make you want to hold tightly to your partner out of fear of them leaving you. No one wants a partner who is Velcro personified, so encourage your independence. Spend time with people outside of the relationship so you don’t make your partnership your entire world. You should also try to manage your anxiety, such as by engaging in meditation or speaking to a therapist who can help you unpack your clinginess and jealousy. Don’t carry that baggage! It’s time to leave it behind.
