Why You Drive Yourself Crazy Overthinking Everything He Does

You know you’re supposed to be having fun with getting to know the guy, but you’re stressed to the max. What’s going on? Here are 12 reasons why you keep overanalyzing everything he says and does to the point that you’re driving yourself crazy. We might not be able to help you stop, but the more you understand, the better you can control your own behavioral patterns, right?

  1. You’re insecure about dating. Maybe it’s been a while since you were in the dating game so you’re stressed out about how things are going to happen and whether or not the guy’s interested. If you’re just out of a breakup, this can also make you feel stressed out so you start being neurotic about stuff.
  2. You’re always getting mixed messages. If the guy’s being inconsistent with you, such as when it comes to how they don’t text you regularly or they go AWOL from time to time, this is enough to get under your skin and make you want to overanalyze his behavior. You need answers about what they want, damn it!
  3. You’re jaded about love. You have a trail of disastrous relationships behind you, which is why it can mess with your current relationship. If you’re feeling bitter and jaded about love and dating, then it’s only normal that you’ll be nervous and worry about the guy hurting you.
  4. You’ve waited way too long. If you had a crush on this guy for ages, you might feel anxious about getting started on your relationship. This can boost your stress levels. You’ll be scrutinizing his messages and behavior for signs that you’re going to get together.
  5. You’re stuck in a bad habit. Maybe you’re so used to analyzing his every move that it’s become second nature to you. When you find that you’re wasting so much time and feeling stressed whenever he texts, then you’ll realize that you’re in a bad loop.
  6. You’re terrified of rejection. The early dating phase is filled with uncertainty. For some it’s fun, but if you’re terrified of getting rejected you’ll be anxious and this might make you overanalyze what your crush or partner does.
  7. You don’t trust him. If you don’t feel you can totally trust your partner, this can cause you to want to control them by overanalyzing their behavior. If they say they’re going to hang with their best guys, you’ll be wondering if they’re really there or out with some other woman, and you might be checking out their socials for proof. Yikes. This will start a toxic cycle of doubt, with you constantly trying to prove that he’s doing bad things behind your back.
  8. He’s already hurt you. If the guy’s already hurt or betrayed you in the relationship, it’s only natural that you’ll be suspicious of him. So, you might keep a very close eye on all his texts and the things he says on dates so that you don’t miss anything that could be a red flag.
  9. You’re an anxious dater. You might find the whole dating process stressful and anxiety-inducing, even when the guy’s a dream. You’re not alone. This could make you want to gain some control of it, such as by overanalyzing his texts and actions.
  10. He won’t dtr. If he’s not keen on defining the relationship, this can lead to uncertainty about your relationship future. The result is you might be trying to find evidence that he’s keen on you and really loves you because he’s not telling you what you need to hear.
  11. He’s way too vague. If your partner’s vague in his texts and doesn’t give you clear signs about what he wants from dating and how he feels about you, this can cause you to reread his messages over and over again as though trying to find clues.
  12. You’re not saying what’s on your mind. If you’re in dating limbo with this guy, you might find that you’ve got tons of stuff to talk to him about regarding your relationship and future but you don’t want to scare him off. So you keep everything inside but turn this crazy energy towards him, such as by overanalyzing what he does. When you feel secure in your relationship, you’ll feel more confident about being yourself, which will help you to nip that behavior in the bud.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.