This Is For The Woman Who Believes She’ll Never Find Her Person

You’ve been on countless dates, spent way too many nights crying yourself to sleep, and you’ve almost convinced yourself that you’re just destined to be alone for the rest of your life. Don’t let yourself believe that. Your someone is still out there and they’re looking for you too. When you get discouraged, remember this.

  1. Heartbreak is sometimes a necessary part of our journey. There’s no way around those horrible breakups that leave us feeling defeated and hopeless. Having your heart broken is one of the worst emotional pains you will suffer and even though it is an awful thing to have to go through, it can also help you learn so much about yourself and what you want out of life.
  2. Stop blaming yourself. If you haven’t had a successful romance yet, don’t think that there is anything wrong with you or that you need to change. You just haven’t met the right person yet. The person that expects you to or even makes you feel like you need to change yourself is not the person for you! The right person won’t even give it a second thought because they will wholeheartedly adore everything about you. So, if you find yourself thinking that the reason you haven’t found “The One” yet is that you need to change, don’t even go there! You’re perfect and your soulmate will think so too.
  3. Maybe the timing isn’t right. Oftentimes, when relationships and dates just seem to not be clicking no matter who they’re with, it’s not because of you or the other person, it may just be because you are not at a place where you’re ready to be in a relationship. Sometimes we think we’re ready for something but the universe sends us signals that it’s not the right time. If your gut or just the situation in general seems like they’re telling you that something is off, listen. You have to make sure that you’re in the best place with yourself before you can invite someone else into your life.
  4. He just wasn’t the one. As hard as it can be to accept it, sometimes the guy who didn’t work out just wasn’t the one for you. You could be completely in love with someone, but if they’re not reciprocating those feelings, or they are but the relationship just isn’t working, you just aren’t right for each other. As heartbreaking as it might be, you have to let that person go so that each of you can find the people that you’re meant to be with. The pain of losing that relationship will completely vanish once you find your soulmate, trust me.
  5. You should never settle. When you have nothing but unsuccessful relationships and terrible first dates, it can become easy to start overlooking red flags or things that used to be deal-breakers for you in the past because you are tired of waiting to have someone in your life. You do not have to settle for anything less than what you want just because it’s taking longer than you thought it would. You deserve everything you’ve ever dreamed of in a partner, and just because it takes longer for that person to come into your life doesn’t mean that he isn’t coming. When the time is right, you will meet your person. Don’t let the fear of waiting make you lower your standards.
  6. Turn to the ones you trust for guidance. I love talking to my mom or my sister whenever I’m having conflicted thoughts about anything in life because I know that everything I’m going through, they’ve been through too. Turning to the people we know and trust in our lives for advice or even just for comfort can be so impactful and meaningful in this whole journey we go through to find our soulmate. The people who love you will have sage words of advice for you that can help you get through your current situation and allow you to feel better equipped to handle everything that comes afterward.
  7. Don’t let the past jade you. Bad relationships and nasty breakups can really do a number on us. It can be so incredibly difficult to get back into the dating game when you’ve been hurt badly or discouraged from a failed relationship. Don’t let the past make you have a cynical outlook on love. There are a lot of jerks out there but there are also a lot of amazing people who will treat you with love and respect and will completely change your view of romance. You just can’t be closed off from it. When you feel healed enough to leave the past in the past, try to meet new people again and be open-minded to different people. They will always surprise you.
  8. You have to fall in love with yourself first. Everyone thinks that life will be perfect the moment they fall in love but what a lot of people don’t realize is that a relationship will not compensate for feelings of unhappiness or unfulfillment. The most important relationship you will ever be in is the one you have with yourself. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t give that love to anyone else and before you can put that focus on another person, you have to make sure you feel complete as an individual. Date yourself, court yourself, romance yourself, whatever you do just love yourself first. After that, your eyes will be open to many more romantic opportunities because you will feel ready for that in your life.


Shelby is a journalist and fiction writer raised in the South but built for the big city. She's a book nerd (well, an overall nerd, honestly) and coffee addict and obsessed with all things leather and lacy.

She has a bachelor’s degree in Mass Communication and Media Studies from Sam Houston State University and worked for her university newspaper, The Houstonian, as well as serving as a producer and part-time entertainment anchor for Cable 7 Huntsville. You can follow her on Twitter @shelby777.