It would be nice to know what you’re getting into whenever you start a new relationship with someone. While they might seem great, no one is perfect and things can go wrong at any time. That’s why a relationship contract might not be a bad idea. However, creating a 17-page document and presenting it to a guy literally two weeks into dating might be a tad much, don’t you think?
Annie Wright and Michael Head, both 23, met on Tinder in October 2020. However, once they realized that they had a lot in common and really liked each other, Annie decided she wanted to set up some serious terms and conditions for their time together. That’s why she put together the 17-page document to let Michael know what she expected of him.
Some of her requests are reasonable. One of the things Annie stipulates in the contract is that Michael doesn’t “pry” and lets her talk about stuff when she’s ready. She also bars him from being “traditional” and paying for everything because it’s “not feasible or realistic.” She sets the boundary of saying she will Venmo him “for my meals that are not dates.”
Michael has some Ts & Cs himself. He wants to be able to “work out alone five times a week” and “recharge mentally,” which seems pretty reasonable.
Did this really need to be an official contract? After all, it seems like much of what Annie and Michael are asking of each other are just common sense and showing consideration. In a healthy relationship, you wouldn’t even have to specifically request it – it would simply be given.
Michael and Annie swear by their contract and joked that they may do a “yearly review.” They’ve nearly been together a year now and they believe much of their success is down to the contract. “This has been a game changer. I’d recommend all couples have one. It’s the best thing ever,” Annie said. “We treat our relationship almost like a business interaction. We deal with conflict like partners in business would. We sit down and treat it more like we’re partners in life and love is an added bonus.”
At least there’s no confusion moving forward. Annie said she was motivated to make the contract as in her past relationships, boundaries were nonexistent and she wanted to set a better precedent this time around. I felt like the biggest issue I had in my last relationship was it felt like boundaries of mine were crossed that I never established. “I was like, ‘this time I’ll write them out and no one can cross my boundaries.’ Michael’s also pre-law so he was pretty keen on the idea of making a contract,” Annie said. She added that the bottom line of the contract is all about remaining neutral when dealing with issues. “The biggest one was approaching issues. We agreed not to approach issues with blame. It could be partially his fault and partially me being sensitive, or him being sensitive and partially my tone,” she explained. “We don’t treat issues like one person is to blame ever.”
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