To The Woman Who Had Him After Me — You’re Welcome

To The Woman Who Had Him After Me — You’re Welcome ©iStock/max-kegfire

You may not like me because I’m your boyfriend’s ex, but there are two sides to every story. You might think you’ve won, but the truth is that we’re both winners. I learned the lessons I needed to be stronger, and you’ll reap the benefits of the efforts I made with him. To the woman who had him after me, here’s what I want you to know:

  1. Thank you for taking what was never mine. Once upon a time, I thought we were forever, but it turned out we weren’t, and eventually you came along to pick up the pieces of his broken heart. It was hard to see at first, but I’m actually glad you found him, because he wasn’t meant for me.
  2. He’s a product of everything we shared together. We went through highs and lows like any couple does, and I’m sure you’ll go through the same. We brought out a love in each other that was real, honest, and mature, and even though it ended badly, we learned a lot along the way.
  3. I challenged him to be a better man. When he wouldn’t get up off the couch or peel himself from his TV, I challenged him to take control of his life, and I see he’s doing that with you now. I’m happy to see he’s taken my words of wisdom and put them into action so that he doesn’t miss out on his potential at happiness.
  4. I called him out on the ways he needed to improve. Sometimes he was downright nasty and would say things that didn’t make sense. But don’t worry — as horrible of a person as you might think I am, I’m the woman who said the things you won’t need to say. I’m the woman who called him out for bad behaviors and showed him how to treat his partner right. It was my pleasure.
  5. He won’t be perfect, but he’ll try. He’s going to make a ton of mistakes with you, but he’ll always try to be better. He might make a mess of things sometimes, but he’ll clean it up to make you happier. Just try to be patient with him.
  6. You might be his last, but I was his first. I’m happy you’re there, but don’t forget that I was once there too, and that we were together for a reason. Our reason was to prepare for our next big adventures of love, and you’re that adventure for him. Although you don’t look fondly upon me as the ex (because realistically, no one ever does), just know that I’m not jealous. He once was mine, but now he’s yours and I genuinely wish you two the best.
  7. Enjoy him. I don’t know how long you’ll last, but if I could give you one piece of advice, it would be to enjoy him in every moment, even the hard ones. Even if we didn’t end in the best way, the memories I have with him leave me with a smile. I’m a stronger person now for having and overcoming the love we had, and he’s a better man for the challenges we faced together. And for that, you’re welcome.