Woman’s ‘Sneaky’ Way To Avoid Splitting The Bill On Dates Sparks Massive Debate

A woman on TikTok has sparked a huge debate after revealing a sneaky “trick” she uses to avoid splitting the bill on dates. Pearl Botts, who lives in LA, revealed that she’s a strong supporter of men picking up the tab and that she’ll go to great lengths to avoid paying her share. Needless to say, people were not impressed.

Going dutch is the best approach for a first date, but Pearl doesn’t think so.

While it’s nice to be treated by your partner when you’re actually in a relationship, expecting a total stranger to shell out $20, $30, or more for you when you’re still trying to determine whether or not you have chemistry is simply unfair.

Men picking up the tab may have been the norm back in the day, but these days, many women agree that they not only want to pay their own way, but doing so frees them from feeling as if they “owe” their date anything. It’s a win-win, right? Not according to Pearl.

If you don’t want to split the bill, Pearl has a suggestion.


would u do this? #datingadvice #datingtips #datingmindset

♬ IT GIRL – Sped up Version – Aliyah’s Interlude

In a TikTok clip, she advised women on what to do when men ask you to pony up your share.

“Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed right now,” she roleplayed with an imaginary date. “You wanted to just be friends? I’m so confused… this whole entire time I thought it was a date… I’m so sorry, here’s my card.”

In other words, she makes it clear that she thought he should pay and friend-zoned him at the same time.

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People in the comments section are divided.

While there are some women who agree with Pearl that if a man invites a woman on a date, he should pay for her. “It’s like u took yourself on the date if u pay for yourself. like what [sic],” one person wrote.

However, others pointed out that just as a woman doesn’t owe a man anything on the first date, the same works in reverse.

“You are literally strangers on the first date. Pay for what you order,” one person stated bluntly.

Pearl posted a follow-up video in which she called it “disrespectful” for a man not to pick up the tab.


Replying to @Kelly Lingus i find this disrespectful to the man #divinemasculnineenergy #feminineenergy #datingadvice #datingtips

♬ original sound – Pearl Botts

“It is disrespectful and emasculating to the man to pay for yourself on a date,” she claimed. “When you let a man have the great honor of taking care of you, you are making space and giving room for him to step into his divine masculine.”

“It has nothing to do with capability to provide for myself. It is a gift to a man to allow him to take care of you.”


Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more. You can follow her on Twitter @jenniferlstill