These days, it feels like people can identify as just about anything, and we’re not even talking about gender. From the downright hilarious to the unexpectedly heartfelt, some folks are fully embracing identities that make you stop and say, “Wait… what?” Whether it’s a passion project gone wild or a way to stand out in a noisy world, these identifiers are equal parts quirky and fascinating. Here are 13 of the strangest things people claim to “be” today.
1. Identifying as a “Starseed”
Think you were born on Earth? How basic. Starseeds believe they’re intergalactic souls sent to Earth for a divine mission. They’ll talk your ear off about energy frequencies and alien ancestors, all while meditating with crystals. Sure, it sounds like the plot of a sci-fi novel, but they’re dead serious. For Starseeds, this isn’t cosplay—it’s their truth. Whether you’re rolling your eyes or low-key jealous, you’ve got to admit, it’s pretty creative.
2. Identifying as “Chronically Offline”
Some people pride themselves on being perpetually out of the loop when it comes to internet culture. No memes, no TikTok, no clue about what’s trending. These “chronically offline” people treat their digital ignorance like some sort of badge of honor. The irony of it all is that they’re usually telling you about this while texting or posting in a group chat. It’s less about total disconnection and more about rejecting the constant churn of online life—when they feel like it, anyway.
3. Identifying as a “Cottagecore Devotee”
If you’ve seen someone wearing a vintage apron while churning butter for Instagram, you’ve met a Cottagecore devotee. These folks are all about living their best pastoral life—whether that means baking bread, growing herbs, or daydreaming about frolicking in a meadow. It’s less “rustic survival” and more “whimsical escapism.” They’ve basically turned Pinterest aesthetics into a lifestyle, and honestly, it looks kind of peaceful if you’re into that sort of thing.
4. Identifying as a “Plant Parent”
In the age of avocado everything, it’s no surprise that plants are no longer just decor—they’re dependents. Plant parents name their monstera and sing to their succulents, treating them like actual children. There’s a fine line between nurturing and obsession, though. When your fern has a dedicated Instagram account with better lighting than you’ll ever achieve in your selfies, you know someone’s fully embraced their leafy alter ego.
5. Identifying as a “Fictionkin”
Move over, cosplay—Fictionkin take their connection to fictional characters to a whole new level. They don’t just love a character; they believe they are that character, spiritually or emotionally. Whether it’s a hero from their favorite book or a random anime villain, Fictionkin are living their truth, one imaginary sword fight at a time. It’s fandom on steroids, and it’s surprisingly personal for those who claim this identity.
6. Identifying as “Technologically Cursed”
You know the type…every computer they touch crashes, their phones mysteriously glitch, and printers simply refuse to cooperate. These “technologically cursed” individuals genuinely believe the universe has it out for their gadgets. Sure, it might just be user error, but their conviction is unshakable. If nothing else, they’ve perfected the art of blaming the cosmos for every Wi-Fi outage and accidental software crash.
7. Identifying as a “Mermaid at Heart”
These aren’t just ocean enthusiasts—they actually believe they’re mermaids deep down. Whether they’re swimming with a monofin or waxing poetic about the sea, they’ve made a lifestyle out of their love for water. It’s part escapism, part commitment to a mythical identity. You’ll find them at mermaid meetups or combing beaches for “treasures.” Let them live their saltwater dream—it’s harmless and kind of adorable.
8. Identifying as “Spiritually Awakened”
Not content with just being “spiritual,” these folks claim they’ve unlocked a higher level of consciousness. They’ll talk about third eyes, vibrational energy, and the cosmic awakening you’re clearly missing out on. Whether it’s yoga, crystals, or a lot of journaling, they’re all about spreading good vibes—if you can keep up with the lingo. It might sound a bit intense, but they’re genuinely trying to live their best lives.
9. Identifying as a “Modern Pirate”
No, they’re not sailing the high seas with an eyepatch and a parrot. Modern pirates embrace the swashbuckling lifestyle in spirit, whether it’s through thrift shopping for treasures or adopting a rugged aesthetic. Their idea of “piracy” is more about personality than plundering, and while it’s quirky, it’s undeniably fun. Just don’t expect them to break out a treasure map—unless it’s leading to the local flea market.
10. Identifying as “Chronically Ill But Thriving”
People with chronic illnesses have turned their challenges into a statement of resilience by embracing the identity of thriving despite all their health woes. They’re advocates, comedians, and tough-as-nails individuals who can laugh at the ridiculousness of their situations while spreading awareness. From hilarious memes about their condition to heartfelt blog posts, these individuals are proof that humor and grit go a long way in making life a little easier to bear.
11. Identifying as a “Time Traveler”
Whether they claim to hail from Victorian England or a dystopian future, time travelers insist they’re not entirely of this era. It’s part existential crisis, part creative storytelling. They might just be history buffs with vivid imaginations, but their commitment is impressive. Ask them about the future of fashion or what medieval banquets were really like, and they’ll have answers ready—whether they’re factual is another matter.
12. Identifying as a “Coffee Snob”
We all know one. These people don’t just drink coffee—they curate it. Identifying as a coffee snob means treating every cup like an art form, from grinding single-origin beans to measuring water temperature. They scoff at instant coffee and probably have a home setup that rivals a café. Sure, it’s pretentious, but at least they’ll never serve you a bad brew. Just don’t ask for a pumpkin spice latte unless you want a lecture.
13. Identifying as “Emotionally Detached”
For some, embracing emotional detachment is less about apathy and more about self-preservation. They’ll proudly tell you they’re “unbothered” or “not getting involved,” which might sound chill—until you realize it’s their way of avoiding vulnerability. It’s a defense mechanism masquerading as an identity, and while it keeps things drama-free, it also keeps connections at arm’s length. Call it a quirk or a wall—it’s certainly a unique way to navigate relationships.
This content was created by a real person with the assistance of AI.
