Yes, I WANT Love, But I’ll Be Just Fine If I Don’t Find It

I’m single AF, but that doesn’t mean I’ll say yes to any guy who looks my way. I want a boyfriend but not that badly. My relationship status might be nonexistent and yes, I’m actively looking for love, but that doesn’t make me desperate.

  1. I’m not willing to settle. I want it all—a good man who treats me right and loves me unconditionally. I want the whole package. I deserve it; doesn’t every girl? People who settle are the ones who aren’t confident enough to wait out the storm, but I know there’s a light at the end of this tunnel and I won’t give in to societal pressure. I deserve so much better than to settle for a life of like rather than love.
  2. I know that good men are hard to find. I’m willing to put in the work to sort the good from the bad. I won’t take the first man who shows an interest in me—not if he’s not actually boyfriend material. I might want a boyfriend but I also want to be with a good guy. Plenty of jerks can be boyfriends but that doesn’t make them good boyfriends. I might want a relationship, but I’m not desperate enough to be with a man who doesn’t deserve me.
  3. If I don’t feel a spark, I don’t waste my time. I’m looking for a boyfriend, but I shouldn’t have to talk myself into being with a guy. If I don’t feel something, I can’t will myself to change that. Either we have chemistry or we don’t. I can’t convince myself to love someone just so I don’t have to be alone. If I don’t feel a spark, I won’t waste a second more of my time.
  4. I’m holding out for the right man. I’ll take my sweet time looking for the right guy rather than wrestling through all the wrong ones. I don’t want to waste my time on the wrong guy. I’ve got better things to do than that. I know Mr. Right is out there and I’ll wait for him, no matter how long it takes.
  5. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean I’m unhappy. I love my life even though I’m not in a relationship right now. My relationship status doesn’t define me and I would never let my happiness depend on in. I want a relationship but I don’t need one and that makes all the difference. I’m a single woman and I’m definitely looking for love, but I’m still happy on my own. Having more love in my life — romantic, head over heels love — would just be the cherry on top.
  6. I don’t need a man for anything, not even my orgasm. If he’s only interested in sex, then I’m just plain not interested in him. If I want to get my “O,” I can manage that just fine myself. I’ll be living happily ever after with my vibrator before I agree to a hookup buddy relationship with a man. I don’t let men walk all over me in any part of my life, including in the bedroom.
  7. I won’t put up with another unhealthy relationship. I’ve had my fair share and I’m done. I’ll never be that lonely again. That experience taught me a lesson, though. I learned exactly what I don’t want in a man. It taught me what I deserve—a man who loves me for me and treats me right without me having to ask. I’m over the drama. I’m ready for something (and someone) good.
  8. I have self-worth. Desperation isn’t the mark of a woman with confidence. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me. I just haven’t met the right man yet. I will eventually but I’m cool in the meantime. I deserve a great guy because I’m one hell of a girl. Every single woman should believe that.
  9. I’ve got all the time in the world to find the right guy. I’m not worried about my biological clock ticking or whatever BS you want to throw my way. I should be more than just a fading pretty face and expiring eggs anyway. There’s no right time to find the right guy so I’m in no rush. I’d rather spend my time getting it right than waste my time just to find out I’m with the wrong guy.
  10. I have standards. I don’t want just any guy — I’m looking for relationship material. I deserve to be treated right and that’s why just anyone won’t do. I’m not interested in the bad boys or guys who only want sex. I deserve better than to be treated like an object rather than a person. I won’t settle for a guy who treats me poorly. I might be looking for a boyfriend, but I’ll never be that desperate.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.